Scenes From My House Last Night

Doug and I have a very strict once you are in bed you are in bed rule.  You can get up to go to the bathroom, but otherwise, go to sleep.  Typically, the half an hour after bedtime is met with lots of yelling "mom" and lots of yelling back "go to bed."

My house, last night, 7:30 pm.  Bedtime.

"Mom?"

"What?"

"Can I have water?"

"Go to bed."

"But I'm thirsty."

"If you are sleeping, you won't be."

"Mom?"

"Yes."

"My poster fell down."

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Are you bleeding?"

"No."

"Go to sleep."

"But my poster fell down."

"Michael, it is paper and we will hang it back up in the morning."

When I went into his room in the morning I learned that his poster fell ON HIM and he slept under it.  I just thought his poster fell to the floor.  So I guess I needed to ask "did your poster fall on top of you?"

MOTHER OF THE YEAR.

Blueprints For An Ark

It has literally been raining in DC since like the dawn of time.  I keep getting all the flash flood warnings on my phone.  (I know there are other parts of the country where flooding is a SERIOUS PROBLEM and schools are closed and buildings have collapsed.  I am by no means minimizing that.)  I'm not a really religious person but earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, I'm starting to look for locusts and frogs and hide Michael from the slaying of the first born.  Isn't Passover in the Spring?  All the extreme weather events are getting a bit, well, extreme, to say the least?

But, I have cute rain boots so I get to wear those.  BRIGHT SIDE. 

In other news, because complaining about the weather is so "first world problems" we seem to have settled into back to school around here.  Michael ADORES his first grade teacher and I'm almost afraid to say it two weeks in but she really does seem to be a gem.  Doug is back at work and while this may not be his dream job, it is a job.  Now that he is out of the house 11 hours a day I miss having him around so much. Although the pay check and not having all the stress is certainly an added bonus.

We are in full swing fall mode with school fundraisers and soccer and karate and religious school starting soon and I'm starting to see Halloween costumes and pumpkins and apples everywhere.  And I volunteered to be room mom again. Because once is apparently not enough for me.

Enough about me.  How are you guys?  How is your weather?  Does anyone have the blueprints for an ark? Because seriously, will it ever STOP RAINING?

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Hey DCers?  Did you know it is Rockville Restaurant Week?  IT IS.  And I'm writing about it over at The DC Moms.  

Better

Michael's verdict on first grade has been things like "awesome" and "I think I'm better at first grade than kindergarten."  I wanted to tell him there were very good reasons for that, but instead I told him it was because he was growing up and he knows what school expects from him now.  He also told me he thinks his new teacher has "more patience."  

We thinks our kids don't know, but they do.

I think one of the hardest parts about being a parent is to watch your kids out in the world and to know that they are trying and failing, sometime due to no fault of their own.  You can yell and scream and fight the system, but in the end, you can only do so much.  There is no doubt in my mind that Michael got the teacher he got because of what we went through last year.  And while it gives me no assurances, I also know that showing up everyday, and yelling, and making sure my voice got heard, and by proximity, Michael's, meant something.  It is also sad that in order for anything to get done, I had to yell.

But what it did to Michael, well, I guess I'm still really finding out.  He tells me he loved kindergarten, but then every once in a while, a sentence will slip out about something and I'll think, he realy doesn't realize what he just said.  About his teacher, or the class, or what so and so said to him and what his teacher did.  Over the summer my parents commented on how happy he seemed, how self assured and grown up.  And how sad he was last year.  And I'm not sure I all together agree with that statement, I don't think he was sad all of last year, but I do think there were things that happened that made him sad, that I probably never noticed, I was so caught up in the fight.

I remember saying to his principal last year, at some point, in these marathon phone arguments we would have "all the adults are fighting and what we seem to be forgetting about is that there is a 6 year old boy suffering.  No one wants to talk about that.  I want to talk about that.  Not who is right and who is wrong.  But Michael.  Let's talk about Michael."

Maybe I got through, maybe I didn't.  I like to think I did.  But the cynical part of me thinks they just wanted me to shut up.

First

We survived the hurricane with minimal damage.  A 12 hour power loss, lots of downed tree limbs and branches.  Yesterday I went for a run and fell on one of those downed branches and sprained my ankle, which has now swollen to golf ball size.  

On Friday, before the hurricaine, we promised Michael a fun family day.  We would do whatever he wanted.  He wanted to go to the Air and Space Museum. The satellite campus in Virginia.  He had been on a camp field trip and couldn't stop talking about it.  He wanted to hold the map and be in charge. He wanted to tell us all the things he had seen.

Doug took the day off of looking for a job and came with us.  The first day Doug has taking off since he got laid off seven weeks ago.  Including weekends.

Michael told us all about what his tour guide had told him when he came with camp, and we read different signs to him.  We packed a picnic lunch and had a great day.  It was easy to forget that Doug is unemployed and Michael started school in 3 days, and a hurricane was headed our way.

 

Michael started first grade today, and he spent all weekend since Thursday's open house asking me, "when do I start school, when do I start school?"  I'm hoping this is a sign of a great year ahead, because I literally am not sure I can handle a year like last year.  I'm at my stress boiling point, and one more thing is going to be the thing to tips me over.  Then again, I always say that, and nothing ever does.

First grade.  New Teacher.  New Year.  New possibilities.

For all of us.

Shoe Friday #140-Star Wars Shoes Edition

For years, all Michael has wanted is Star Wars shoes.  But his feet have been too wide and they haven't fit. But on Monday, when I took him for shoes, he was no longer an extra, extra wide, and they fit.

Nothing like making a 6 year old's day.  Never mind the woman who told me at the shoe store that she would never allow her child to get those because "they were ugly."  

I'm sending my kid to first grade thrilled.

(affiliate link.)

Finding Hope

This week has truly been lovely.  I thought I would have been struggling to fill the days but our days have filled up quickly with play dates and play grounds and lounging at the the pool.  Today we have a Disney event and then a school event. Where we meet his FIRST GRADE TEACHER.  How is it possible this child is in FIRST GRADE? (Michael is convinced his first grade teacher is going to be at the Disney event.  And he is still struggling with the Mommy is a lawyer and gets to go to all this cool stuff, thing.)

I will say that every single person I have mentioned Michael's teacher to, that is familair with the school, is like, "you got so and so?"  "She is a gift from heaven."  "You will LOVER HER."  "She is the natural progression from the teacher you had last year to the teacher you had this year.  It is the gift the school gives you."  

Michael's last session with our reading tutor was yesterday.  And she honestly was a gift from heaven.  I wanted to hug her legs and scream NO DON'T GO.  But she teaches during the year, and while she would have stayed with Michael, she wasn't convinced he needed it.  The person I wanted to give CASH MONEY TO, was all "let's get him to first grade and see how he does and then check in with me after the parent teacher conference."  And I was like "no don't leave me."  I get a little co-dependent when I find people I love.

4 more days and then Michael starts school and I go back to work and Doug, well, I have no idea.  But a hurricane is barreling towards our house and our power company is already telling us to prepare for "multi-day outages."  Because they are so reliable.  And I'm not even sure I care anymore.  Multi day outages, bring it on. Been there, done that.  And in sub zero weather!  I can do August!

For the first time, in a really long time, I'm hoepful.  And I'm holding on to it for dear life.  

Week Of Fun

We were supposed to be on vacation this week.  But we are not, because my ultra responsible husband decided it was best to stay home and look for jobs and be available for phone calls and interviewing.  (If I sound sarcastic I am not.  Doug is looking for jobs 12 hours a day.  I'm not kidding.)  But I'm still off of work, so Michael and I have planned what I have dubbed "Michael and Mommy week of fun."  But I also need to do this without spending money.  So week of fun is going to include the pool.  And some play dates.  And a Disney event we were invited to on Thursday.  And shoe shopping and a haircut, for Michael.  

One thing I'm really, really going to try to do is GET OFFLINE, PUT THE PHONE DOWN and pay attention. It is something I always say I'm going to do but don't do. But he is starting 1st grade in one week.  And I feel like he is such a BIG KID. Kindergarten was one thing but FIRST GRADE is the real deal.  And we also have karate, soccer, religious school, and all the homework that school brings as well. Which means I will probably see him an hour a week once school starts.  Or something like that.

But I'm not crafty and I'm not creative.  So I don't have really, really good ideas for this week.  I need to keep him quiet and out of the house so Doug can look for a job, without spending a ton of money. Anyone want to have us over?  Anyone have any great ideas?  I have a move gift card to spend but Michael, under no circumstances, want to see the Smurfs.  I don't want to see the Smurfs either but it is the only kid movie out right now.

I suspect Week Of Fun is going to be week of pool.  Because I don't really have any other great ideas. Let's hope it doesn't rain.

Things I Have Learned Since Doug's Lay Off

1.  I do not need a cleaning service.

2.  I don't like cleaning the kitchen, but I don't mind cleaning the bathrooms.

3.  I don't need to get my nails done, I can do them just fine myself.

4.  My dog does not need a dog walker.  (Caveat, Doug is home all day.  He may go back to needing one when Doug gets a job.)

5.  People will never fail to surprised you with their kindness.  A reader sent me a restaurant gift certificate, with a note that was so wonderful it made me cry, just because.  Friends have taken me to lunch, for coffee, and bought Michael ice cream. People have called in favors, emailed us jobs, and called friends in the hopes of finding Doug something. One person, who saw me first, when all this started, and I was truly a mess said, "you need to be kinder to yourself."  And I have tried to remember that, the most.   

6.  Friends have also disappeared.  There are people who I thought would show up with a kind word, or a call, or email, that have not.  You learn who really is your friend, when the chips are down.  I always knew that, but nothing has shown it more than the past 6 weeks.

7.  People really, really don't know what to say. " I'm sorry" works.  "This really sucks" works too.  "I know someone this happened too and they didn't have a job for a year," not so good, even if that is true.

8.  All those errands I used to run, totally unnecessary, most of the time.  The only errand I have run since Doug got laid off is the grocery store.  Target, clothes, etc, nada.  And we are fine.

9.  Doug should never be allowed to go grocery shopping.  We cut our grocery bill in half simply by letting me do all the shopping.  Doug can not go grocery shop in an economical fashion.

10.  Michael is not getting one "back to school" purchase except for school supplies and shoes, because he needs both of those things.  All of his clothes fit and it will be just fine.  All of the back to school clothes shopping I used to do, because "he needs to start school with new clothes..." he doesn't.

11.  I used to buy makeup and hair products and shove them in a drawer because I didn't like them and buy something else.  They are working just fine right now.

12.  We used to spend way too much money.

On Overcoming Fear

On Sunday, after posting the most depressing thing I've ever written, we went to my nephew's birthday party at a small children's amusement park 45 minutes from where we live.  And Michael really wanted to do the ropes course.  It was high up and you had to be strapped in and there was no way in hell I would ever do that.  But Doug went with him, and even though the child looked terrified, he wanted to do it.

He got halfway up and then decided he couldn't do it.

Because 6 and 1/2 sometimes may seem like a really big kid, sometimes it still is really, really little.

The guy who worked there helped him get across.

But then, when it was time to go back, there was no guy, and Michael had to do it by himself.  And he cried.  But eventually, he did it anyway.

I always tell him, it is ok to be scared, but you have to do it anyway.

I'm trying to tell myself that right now too.

My Weekend By The Numbers 3

1 and 2

1: Hour spent mowing the lawn.  Not by me.

1.5: Hours spent watching the Nick and Vanessa wedding special.  And I will never get those hours back in my life.

2: Hours spent walking around our favorite farmer's market on a gorgeous Sunday morning.

3: Hours spent freaking out about Doug's job situation.  This is down.  I promise.

4: Hours spent making fun of the email alert noise Doug's new phone makes.  It is all "EMAIL, EMAIL, CHECK ME NOW" with it's urgency.  I can't even explain the noise it is so ridiculous.  It can be heard 3 floors away in our house.  If he doesn't change the thing I'm seriously going to lose my mind.  Every time he gets an email I'm like "DOUG YOU GOT AN EMAIL CHECK IT CHECK IT CHECK IT."  Because the phone is that insistent.  I'm dying to know what it does for a text message.

5.  Hours spent on Pinterest.  I just can't stop pinning things.  

6: Homemade mojitos consumed, from Vicky's recipe.  This recipe rocks.  And definitely contributed to freaking out less about Doug's job situation.  

9: Loads of laundry.  How can 3 people have so much laundry?  It doesn't help that my washer and dryer are from 1963 and hold like one towel and Michael swims twice a day at camp and then we live at the pool and the swim laundry is enough to kill you.  I was hoping to be able to rectify that situation soon. Except my husband currently does not have a job.  And now I need to change the number above.

10: Hours spent at the pool.

10 million: Hours of will played by Michael.  Okay, maybe not, but it sure felt like it.

100 million: Degrees in Washington DC. Seriously, if this was July, what the hell will August look like?

How was your weekend?  Anybody buy a washer and dryer?  A front loader?  

I remember when I used to want shoes.  Oh wait, I still do.