No More

I was driving home from Susan's funeral today and "No More" from Stephen Sondheim's "Into The Woods" came through my iphone onto the stereo.  And once again, I was sobbing.

No more giants waging war!
Can't we just pursue our lives, with our children and our wives,
'Til that happy day arrives, how do you ignore
All the witches, all the curses,
All the wolves, all the lies, the false hopes, the good-bye's,
The reverses,
All the wondering what even worse is still in store!
All the children.
All the giants..
No more. 

I came home and donated to the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Research Foundation.  I'd like to have one less giant raging war. 

*The DC Moms reflect on Susan here.

Susan

Susan was one of my first blogging friends.  We met long ago, at a wine tasting at Sarah's house.  And she glowed with a light and a warmth from her.  Susan was one of the people I most looked forward to seeing at every blogging event since, near and far, from Chicago to New York City, to just this past summer, at my house, where she brought the famous red dress.  She always, always, lit up a room.

Last fall, at Blogalicious, I spent a majority of the time with Susan.  I listened to a gospel choir with my arms around her.  I laughed in her room while we talked about religion and politics and love.  I wheeled her around.  And more than anything, I wanted more time with her.

I will gather with my fellow DC Moms and say goodbye to my friend Susan.  Not a day will go by that I will not miss her.  I will never, ever, not go to a blogging event and not sense a loss.  The blogging world lost a great writer. The planetary science community lost a scientist.  The DC Moms lost one of their own.  I lost my friend.  Two young boys lost their mother.  A wonderful man lost his wife.  

Susan, I hope wherever you are, you are looking down on the legacy you left smiling. I promised you that night in October that we would always make sure your chilren were taken care of.  And one thing is for sure, I keep my promises.  

 Goodbye Susan.  

Smart Women Are Smart

Last night I had the joy of attending Amy's book club with Joanne because we were discussing Joanne's book, PunditMom's Mothers of Intention: How Women & Social Media Are Revolutionizing Politics in America, which I have an essay in.  And I had never been to a book club.  I've always wanted to be in a book club, but no one has ever invited me into a book club (sob.)  (I'm a loser.)

It was wonderful.  Smart, funny women sat around drinking wine (which I did not because I am still on my stupid detox diet.) (10 pounds! I'm down 10 pounds!) talking about intelligent things like politics and standing up for your kids and advocating for a shade at the baby pool.  We talked about why women take a step back from their career and what it means for this country and what it means to be political and why  it is important for your kids to see you as political.

I forgot what it was like to talk about things other than social media, and my job.  I forgot what it was like to spend time with people who don't tweet and blog their every thought.  (No offense bloggers.)  

Joanne is brilliant, that is pretty much why I follow her everywhere she goes. But so was everyone else is that room.  I was thrilled and honored to be a part of that discussion.  

For Susan

We go purple.

I'll paint myself purple for you. 

Join us.

Color is OPI Divine Swine, from the Muppet Collection.

Blogalicious-Good For The Soul

Sometimes, what you really need more than anything, is to laugh.  The kind of laughter that hurts your stomach but fills your heart.  That was my weekend.

I almost didn't go to Blogalicious.  Not because I didn't want to, but because work has been crazy and home has been crazy and we are out of town the weekend coming up and we have so much to do.  But the ticket was bought and paid for and I also knew I needed a weekend away.  With my friends.  I haven't been to a blog conference since March and I needed the time to re-energize.  I felt a little lost in the space lately, and I needed to figure out what I wanted.

Blogalicious was just what the doctor ordered.

I got there a little late on Friday, but I was just in time to hear the wonderful Susan speak, and light the candles on the cupcakes for the American Cancer Society.

My favorite memories of Blogalicious include just hanging out with Susan her room.  Because that time is precious.  More birthdays.  Please.

Breakfast Saturday morning included a gospel choir, and even a G-d doubting Jew like me teared up. The music was that powerful.

I heard my roommate, Linda Sellers, give a wonderful presentation on integrity in the blogosphere, something you can never hear enough off, and spent time with Rene Syler, someone who has ben so wonderful to me since Disney.  We have developed quite an email relationship and I respect her so much.  Truly.

But, I missed part of her speech because I was getting a massage at the Sears/Kmart suite and playing with baby Alice.  (What can I say?).  I also got a pedicure at the Susan G. Komen pajama party.  You know, priorities.

But it was the late nights, with Linda and Janine, the laughter, the really, really hard conversations, (if you have a problem talk to Janine, she is without a doubt the smartest, wisest, most emotionally healthy person I know), and the love in that room that I will remember forever.  I am so lucky to have friends like these who put up with me and my silly pajamas.  It helps that I come with mojitos.

And we all love our Apple products.

 

Why I Keep Blogging

I'm guest posting for my friend Lara today, answering the age old question, why I'm still here after almost 5! years.  That is like a dinosaur in the blogging world. 

(I'll give you a sneak peek, it is you guys.)

The Friends Inside The Screen.

Me Too

I sometimes forget, when I'm thinking about how oh so hard my life is right now, (yes, I'm being sarcastic, my life is really not all that hard), that there are people who get it.  I tend to shut up, shut down, and go on and on about how "fine" everything is.  Yes, I hate my job but it is fine.  Yes, Michael is having a hard time but it is fine.  Fine, fine, fine.  Now, where is the wine.

Yesterday, I had brunch with my friend Natalie and then met Melissa and her kids for cookies in the afternoon.  And both times there was a lot of, "me too" in the conversations we were having.  When you feel like you are alone, and no one else in the world gets it, sometimes all you really need is a "me too."

I forgot how awesome a genuine "me too" is.  A, "I get it."  A, "I've been there and it sucks." 

When people ask me why the hell I blog, and what the hell I'm doing on my computer at 10 o'clock at night when I would rather be sleeping, it is because last night Beth made me cry.  We may see each other twice a year, but she knows Michael, and she knows me, and a "I wish I could buy you a bottle of wine" from her and "it will get better" means the absolute world.  Also, she told me I wasn't crazy.  Which helped, too.

When I started blogging a million and half years ago (I used to blog up hill in the snow both ways) I never knew where it would bring me.  I never knew I would literally spend a day with my blog friends, and never want it to end.

For some reason I still think in terms of school years as years.  And as this "year" winds down, it occurs to me that this has been a really weird year for me.  I've watched friendships end that I didn't think would, and some of my closest friends I met through a screen.  I'm working on launching a new blog and desperatly searching for a new job.   

I have no idea who I am anymore.  Sometimes I think if I could just take a vacation from inside my head things might be a little bit easier for a while.

And then there is brunch.  And cookies.  And emails.  And a genuine, lovely thank you note for a baby gift I sent to Amy. 

And I remember that people get it, it's not all bad, I don't have to live in my head.   

Friends With Bags-Giveaway

It is safe to say I was having a crap week last week.  My friend Lindsay invited me to an event at Artisans Gallery, a unique gift shop I had been to a few times before.  And I knew the one thing that would really cheer me up would be my DC blogging pals.  So I headed out in the pouring rain to learn about Scout bags and bins.  And to see my friends.  Which made me so happy.

I had never heard of Scout before this event and I am a convert now.  They have bags and bins for everything.  And when I got home with some of the bags Scout and Artisan had given me, my husband, who is not easily excited, was all "this is a perfect beach bag."  And then we started fighting over the lunch bag.  And I'm headed back to Artisans today to get the Tote that holds your phone and your keys.  Because I'm always losing my phone and my keys, so maybe if I had one thing that holds them both it would help.  Maybe. 

I'm reviewing them more fully at Joeshopping.

Love Scout too?  I have got two ways to help you.

Shop Artisans Gallery website and save 15% off EVERYTHING online until April 22nd, 2011 using the discount code ART15.  Live in the DC area?  Just go into the store and use the code in the store.

• ART15 can be used multiple times.
• Gift wrapping is free on website items (as it is always at the store!)
• Shipping is free on all orders over $60.
• Orders under $60 ship for only $6.99.
• All in stock items will ship within two business days using USPS.
• That's for everything, Scout items or not Scout items.

SCOUT Bags, Bins and More GIVEAWAY!

ONE winner will get to choose ONE of these beautiful SCOUT items in any pattern you choose.

• Doggie Bag – Love this lunch bag.  (I'm buying one for Doug....shhh)
• Baguette Market Scout Tote –  It's a tote, but it collapses.  Tip, pack it in your luggage for conference swag, and you have an extra bag.  Or, if you are going somewhere and expect to buy a lot there.
• Hang 10 Bin – Great for filing papers, toys, clothes, declutter!

Contest will close Monday April 18th at 5:00.  (That is also my Dad's birthday.)  To enter, please go to the Scout website and tell me your favorite thing you see.  It does not have to be one of the items you can win.  One comment per person please and winner will be choosing randomnly and announced on Tuesday.

HAPPY SCOUTING.

Disclosure: I was invited to attend an event sponsored by Scout and Artisans, and was not compensated to attend.  I was presented with gifts by Artisans and Scout and also purchased items at Artisans by Scout at a discounted rate.  I did not receive any monetary compensation for this post, and I was not asked to write about the event. All opinions expressed are my own.  And Doug's.  He really loved the Pocket Rocket.
 

Gotten Gorgeous

On Saturday I did this cray thing where I road a bus for 10 hours to go to a 4 hour event.  And the even more ridiculous part of it was that I realized I was doing this on the Friday night before I left.  The plans had been made for over a week and it was Friday night when I realized that there would be a ten hour bus ride for a total of 4 hours in New York City.

But the event was Getting Gorgeous.  And I didn't go at BlogHer last year and I'm not going to BlogHer this year (I'm not, I'm really, really not for all you people who are convinced I am going to change my mind), so this was my one opportunity to get gorgeous.  I was traveling with Elena and Jessica  and the whole thing seemed less stupid in my head than it was at 6 am Saturday morning when my alarm went off.

Here is the thing about me.  I don't get on a bus at 8 am and go to NYC.  I don't ride buses.  I take trains and stay for weekends and have the whole thing planned out months in advice.  I say no to events that take me away from my family.  I'm a very safe girl.  I got married at 26, had a baby at 30, and did everything I was supposed to do.  Always.

But sometimes, you need a do something with your girlfriends that seems, to everyone around you,  crazy.  To sit on a bus for 10 hours laughing about the most inane things.  The get off a bus, hop in a cab who doesn't know where he is going, and get handed a mimosa.  To get your hair and makeup done and be given shoes and talk about jeans. 

I'm still exhausted.  But it was so, so much fun.  And my goal for the next 35 years of my life, is to just have more fun.  To take more chances.  To say yes more often to things that seem ridiculous and crazy and impossible.  Because I can ride a bus for 10 hours to go to a 4 hour event.  Especially when the makeup artist insists on telling me what a beautiful face I have. 

It was really not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  But next time I want to stay over night and have more champagne and take in a Broadway show. 

***I paid for my own transportaion to Getting Gorgeous, the event was free and we were given products, including the shoes and makeup I linked to in this post. 

On Sun and Tomorrow

There are no words that describe my week last week.  Except words from the musical Annie.  Things like "grey and lonely" seem to do it justice.  It was a week full of naval gazing and I seemed to be in my head most of it.  There were really hard conversations and difficult decisions and tears and at one point I literally made myself sick.

A very wise friend told me over an emotionally charged drink Thursday night to go home and hug my husband and my son.  That it would be ok.  And she was right and I did.

Friday I woke up and it was 70 degrees in February.  I got out of my head and went for a long run with the music blaring.  I sung loudly and badly.  I then volunteered in Michael's kindergarten class.  It is hard to be wrapped up in yourself when you are helping 5 year olds write 3 sentences and monitor recess and copy and collate shape booklets.  I also got to see him share his writing journal with the class.

 

Friday night I went over to my best friends' for Shabbat dinner. There was wine and Doug made cupcakes from scratch that rival cupcakes sold in the best cupcakery in DC.  Her 3 year old twins chased Michael around the house yelling "Mike, Mike."  There was much laughter and love in that room.

Hard decisions are hard and they are even harder when you are hurt.  But I learned one thing last week.  Annie was right.  The sun always does come out tomorrow.