My Child Is Now Published

I present to you Michael's novel, "My Dog, Foster."

Why is it a novel you ask?  Because why yes, we do have a dog named Foster.  It is a novel because of this page.

Michael was not born when we got Foster.  And we didn't get Foster from a pet store, we adopted Foster from a pet rescue.  

The rest of the story is true though.

I don't know if I would call him the "best dog."  He is kind of a pain, actually.

Today's was Michael's Kindergarten celebration.  They read the stories they wrote and sang songs.  And while I have spent the last few weeks really, really just wanting Kindergarten to be over it occurred to me, today, that KINDERGARTEN IS ALMOST OVER.  And that means this child, my one and only, BABY, is going to first grade.

This child, who just a few weeks ago, was barely reading, is now reading.  And yes, it took some yelling at the school from me and some extra help, but he is.  And he can count to 100 and can tell pennies from dimes and quarters.  And he may not have had the best year, but he still had a year, and I should still take a moment to stand back and recognize it.

Kindergarten is almost over.  At this time last year I didn't even know where he was going to go to Kindergarten. He has friends, he has really good friends.  And I have friends too.  And somehow, I really believe next year is going to be better.

To quote Michael's song from today: "Goodbye Kindergarten: Movin' on to First Grade."

 

Dogwalkergate

I had the carpets steam cleaned yesterday. It's a once a year occurrence, always the week before Thanksgiving. With a dog and a small child and especially with potty training, well, it just had to happen. It's a company that I always use and trust immensely. They are the same company that we used after our basement flooded 6 years ago and lets just say I have never, ever had an issue with them. I let them in, gave them the run down, and headed out. As I was walking out the door I explained I had a dog that was in a crate and a dog walker coming in to walk the dog but she would put him back in the crate if they were not done when she got there. He asked what time she came and I said about noon and he said he thought they should be done. I gave them my cell phone number in case they needed me and left. Around noon my cell phone rang. "Um, Mrs ____, we are done, but there is a little problem." "What's wrong?" "Your dog walker came, she walked in, wrote a note, left it on the table and left, she never walked the dog. I read the note. She said she walked the dog. But she didn't. I'm not trying to pry. I hope you don't mind but I walked the dog. But I can't get him back in the cage. He peed and pooped outside when I walked him. But he growls when I try to get him in the crate." "Um, what? Back up. She didn't WALK THE DOG." "No, ma'am." (I hate when people call me ma'am but I totally gave this guy a pass because he sounded like he was going to cry. He so thought I was mad at him). "The note said she did but she didn't. I felt bad for the dog so I walked him. But I can't get him in the crate." "Oh, it's ok. He was only in the crate because of you. He's not locked up normally." "Oh." "Thank you so much for walking him. That was so nice of you. You really didn't have to do that." "I felt really bad for him. She totally lied" "Um yes. I will be firing her now. Thank you so much." I hung up and called the dog walking company. Who didn't even call the dog walker before they told me that was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard and the carpet company was lying and I should sue them for even touching my dog. I told them I had had my suspicions for a while, that she would often "forget to leave reports" or "forget to feed my dog" which was probably code for "forget to show up." And then they decided to fight with me. "Why would they walk your dog?" "Why would you NOT walk my dog?" "Why would she lie?" "Why would they lie?" "Well Foster is a difficult dog." "I know Foster is a difficult dog. That's your justification, for lying?" You can see how well it went. I finally demanded my key back. I have 5 dog walker interviews set up for this weekend. The weekend before Thanksgiving. I totally have nothing else to do. I think the first question I am going to ask is "so, are you actually going to WALK MY DOG?"

Foster

Mayberry asks, tell us about Foster and what are his "issues"?

Oh, wow, did you open up a can of worms.

But first, aren't they cute?

Foster was adopted from an abused dog rescue the day we got back from our honeymoon. He has issues, lots of issues. When we first got him he would sit in the corner and shake. He tore apart our house. He has seen a dog behaviorist (yes, that's a dog shrink), 3 times. He's been on paxil. We have gone through about 5 dog walkers, and he had a routine we went through before we left the house. I'm more relaxed about my child's schedule then I was about my dog's. He was the center of our lives before Michael arrived.

And now, he is largely ignored. We pretty much remember to walk and feed him, and every once in a while he gets pet.

Michael tortures this poor dog. He grabs him, pulls on him, hits him, throws things at him, etc., etc. He treats Foster like the sibling he is never going to have. And Foster takes it all, because Michael feeds him. Whatever he is eating goes to Foster. Foster gained 10 pounds the year Michael started solid foods, Michael gained 8.

Foster is a great dog. Very loving, very loyal. But he is just a tad high strung. I always lock him up when other children come over because while I don't think he would ever do anything, I do worry. And he just can't handle all the chaos.

Sometimes I think we should give him away. He would do better with a home that could dedicate more time to him. But really, no one is going to take this dog but us. And for better or worse, he is family. I wouldn't give my husband away, as much as I would like to sometimes.

And we've come to the end of the road

This is it, the last of the questions. I think I have answered them all. If I missed one, or you thought of a question I haven't answered, leave a comment. Jenn asks "when did you get Foster and how does he get along with Michael?" We got Foster the day we got back from our honeymoon. Doug wanted a wedding, I wanted a dog. He got a wedding (oh boy did he get a wedding), and I got a dog. Foster and Michael get along OK. Foster actually views Michael as a food source. It's amazing. Michael now eats at a table and chairs that Foster could easily just take food off of, but he he waits for Michael to give it to him. And Michael does. And Foster has gained 10 pounds in a year. I can't get over the fear that Foster is going to bite Michael. I don't know why I am afraid of that, he has never bitten anyone, but he growled at Michael once. We took him to dog behaviorist and she actually said that was OK, a growl is a warning, but every time they play together it scares me. Do other parents with dogs feel this way or am I just a lunatic? Sometimes I feel like I have a ticking tomb bomb in my house. Allison asks "what is your favorite color? Or book(s)?" Color-red. Book-I love Jodi Picoult, although I hated the ending off her last book, 19 minutes. I loved the book up until the last 10 pages. The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood is probably my favorite book ever. I also loved She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. And for good chic lit you can't miss Jane Green or Jennifer Weiner.

Foster the dog

Foster was adopted from an abused dog rescue the day we got back from our honeymoon. He has issues, lots of issues. When we first got him he would sit in the corner and shake. He tore apart our house. He has seen a dog behaviorist (yes, that's a dog shrink), 3 times. He's been on paxil. We have interviewed dog walkers, and he had a routine we went through before we left the house. I'm more relaxed about my child's schedule then I was about my dog's. He was the center of our lives before Michael arrived. And now, he is largely ignored. We pretty much remember to walk and feed him, and every once in a while he gets pet. And sometimes grabbed my Michael. We are trying to stop that. Oh, and the man in the picture, that's my husband, I don't think you have seen him yet either. He will be happy to know he was an afterthought after the dog.