Lather, Rinse, Repeat

I feel like I've been on a hamster wheel for the past year.  Maybe the past two years.  In constant motion, but not going anywhere.  We take Michael to all these doctors's appointments and evaluations to get answers like "well, he may have ADHD, he may not, I think we just have to watch him."  Thank you, now here is a very large check.  I'm glad I waited 5 months for your opinion.  I've been looking for a new job for years, and I'm getting nowhere on that front.  And just for kicks, I've started running, on the treadmill.  Talk about a hamster wheel.  My life has become "just keep swimming."

I don't want this to be a whiny, my life sucks blog post.  I hate whiny blog posts.  I want to hit those people and yell, "do something to change it."  My life does not suck.   My life is pretty damn good.  I'm just not going anywhere or doing anything.  And I just want SOMEONE to tell me what is going on with Michael.  If there is a problem, let's fix it.  And if not, fine, let's move on.

He has developed a new behavior, and I won't blog about because it is a total invasion of his privacy, but let's just say it is troublesome.  And developmentally inappropriate.  And we have seen the pediatrician, and his teachers are at a loss, and I've reached out to bloggy friends, and no one has any ideas.  I will tell you that it HAS to stop before kindergarten.  Which is in two weeks.  I'm a stressed out mess which is making it worse.  And it is going to turn me into an alcoholic.  And he has no interest in it stopping, I'm pretty sure because he knows it is driving me crazy.  And what we have, is a classic power struggle.

Last night I tweeted that I need a wine and cupcake delivery service.  Somehow one did not magically appear at my door.  I'm willing to strike a deal.  If someone delivers me cupcakes, I'll supply the wine.  Sound good? 

Thanks.

Comments

[Angie]

I hear what you are saying 100% in this blog. I am going thru very much the very same things as you are. It was funny, because as I was sitting here drinking my coffee, I saw your twitter "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" and I told my husband that THAT was what I had been thinking about for the title for one of my blogs this week! How funny! (Great Minds!?!) Anyhow, I am going to befollowibg your blog much more now that I feel like I might actually have a partner in this boat I've been rowing (or just simply trying to bail more water than is coming to stay afloat) in the sea of doctors without answers and family members who don't understand. Great blog today - and I would love to bring the cupcakes! :-)

[stephanie]

I have definitely been there. Stuck in a rut, not really excited about the next day or week or month because it is just going to be more of the same. Even when nothing is really wrong, it can still be very frustrating because it doesn't feel like you are moving towards anything.

Hopefully the situation with Michael resolves itself soon. I know you are purposely being very vague about it, but from what little you've said it sounds like more stubborn 5 year old than serious problem. (Not that dealing with a stubborn 5 year old isn't a PITA in its own right... four years of being a camp counselor to that age group taught me that.) Either way, you deserve cupcakes. And wine.

[Shantelle]

I'm sorry sweetie! Too bad I'm in Utah or I would bring you cupcakes. Have you been into Artfully Chocolate? (1529 14th NW) They have the most amazing selection of chocolate I've ever had. Try the Lucy, it's amazing! I bought one of their lavender pistachio chocolate bars to bring home. Oddly fantastic. Makes me feel better all the time.

Your language is vague, so don't be offended if I'm jumping to conclusions, but it sort of sounded like a problem my friend had with her son. I remembered reading this article at the time, so you can check it out. Or ignore it if I'm totally off-base.

/hug

http://www.slate.com/id/2162293

[Sue @ Laundry for Six]

I am totally within striking range on the cupcakes.

[Angela]

I'd say "hang in there" but I know darn well that's what you've been doing. I'm barely treading water over here with this suddenly very big family. And even though it's what I want, damn if it isn't trying to drag me way down there to that big fish with the light sticking out of it's forehead.

We watch too much disney don't we.

[Miss Britt`]

Man do I HATE that treadmill feeling. Even if it doesn't last forever, it's a bitch while you're on it.

[Issa]

I keep feeling that way too. Giant effing hamster wheel. My life isn't all bad either. But that dam wheel gets annoying.

I wish I had the ability to send cupcakes through the screen. Sadly all it does is smudge my screen.

[nic @mybottlesup]

brilliant title for a brilliant though difficult post.

for what it's worth, i admire your courage... and, i'm not that far away, so... cupcakes and wine, i can supply.

hang in there.

[NS]

Sorry we're out of town so I can't bring by cupcakes!

[Superjules]

Hugs and snugs, girlie.

Also, I applaud you for not writing stuff about your son's new behavior because it would invade his privacy..... I've noticed some people tend to post any and everything and it makes me feel bad for their kid.
So hat's off to you!

[AmandaJo]

It'll get better, but you know that. Things will move forward, because they have to. They have to because you'll make them. It's hard, though, to feel like you're pushing for your kid and not getting anywhere. It's hard when you see something, and you know it IS something, and you can't get anyone to acknowledge it. Or, worse yet is when other people tell you there's an issue, and then can't prove it but won't let it go. So it's a state of limbo, and it sucks, and I'm sorry.

You do rock, though. Awful damn hard. And you're doing a great job. Sometimes it helps to hear those things. If I had wine or cupcakes, I'd ship them to you.

[C.mom]

I'd say that it will get better, but I know enough to realize that it doesn't help you to say it. Limbo is never good...no matter what. Thinking of you :)

[Colleen]

If I lived closer I would have totally been on my way over loaded down with wine and cupcakes!

I so wish someone could just give you the answers you need. Living in the middle place is just too hard.