Firsts

I think it won't surprise you to know that I'm not a scrap-booking kind of mom. Michael does not have a "traditional" baby book.  He has a book of pictures of his first year, and that is it.  I'm sad I didn't start this blog until he was 2 and a half, because this blog has served as his baby book of sorts.

I don't know when he first rolled over, or got his first tooth.  I don't know when he first walked, although I know it was a week before his first birthday.  I don't know when he said his first word, although I know he dropped something on the floor and said "uh oh."

I think I took a picture on his first day of preschool and posted it here.  That day seems silly now.  He was fine.  He cried his second day.

Today, his first day of Kindergarten, seems monumental, like the most important first day ever.  I think because Kindergarten feels like the beginning of the end of childhood.  There will be homework and tests and teachers who don't like him.  Although sadly, we already experienced that.  There will be A's and F's, and first loves and heartbreak.  He will succeed and fail.  Soar and Sink.  Make the team and not.  All without me.

We went to "sneak peak" on Friday and found his desk, which he immediately sat down at, ready to learn.  I laughed, and told him he could walk around the room today.  He found his name on his cubby and the wall.  He wrote his name on the sign in sheet.  He found the bathroom, and I was thrilled, of all silly things, that it was right in his room.  His teacher seems fine, she has been with the school for four years, and was somewhere else before that.  But how much do you get a sense of someone in 20 minutes?  He loved the scavenger hunt she had for the kids to do.  And then we met the aftercare providers he will be with two days a week.  And then we left.

We spent the weekend doing lots of fun things as a family.  Friday we went to the Building museum to see the Lego exhibit, something we had been talking about all summer.  It was the last weekend it was there.  Sunday we went to a baseball game with my playgroup.  The kids we have been playing with since Michael was 6 weeks old.  They all start Kindergarten today.  Seemed fitting somehow to spend this day together.  The day "before."

Today, the day "after,"  my biggest fear is this will be last fall, a year later.

I'm fine.  People keep asking me if I'm going to cry, and I see no reason to cry.  He has been in daycare since he was 5 months old and school since he was 3. 

But Kindergarten, as the lovely and eloquent Miss Brit put it, Kindergarten is not preschool.  Kindergarten is for the big kids.  Kindergarten is different.  Kindergarten is where, we will finally know, if he is "fine."  If he can make it.  Or not.  Maybe we will never really know.  Maybe Kindergarten will be fine and first grade will not.  Or High School.  Or 40.

Maybe it is all a serious of firsts.  But this still feels like the most important one. 

 

Comments

[Stimey]

As far as firsts go, it's definitely a biggie, but it is also not the deciding factor in his life. Good day or bad, he'll end up being okay. But here's hoping it's good!

[Mama Bub]

Good luck to both of you today. Wish I could erase all of the anxiety of the last year for you.

[Issa]

I really hope today goes great for Michael and that it's the beginning of a great year.

[Miss Britt`]

*sigh* After this and your tweet and reading the older link... I kind of want to cry.

And I don't even have PMS!

I'm just so, so happy for you all.

[Safire]

Aww...it really is a very big first. This is how I felt today with my own going to K. Big day...big day...

[Headless Mom]

So glad to hear your tweets that the day went great. Yes, it is an important first for him, and you! Just 13 more years to go! ;-)

[Kari Weber]

Zachary starts the day after tomorrow... I feel a bit like you do even though my son will be attending the school I teach at.

How did the day go?

[Corey Feldman]

Glad he had a good first day