You Think I Would Have Decided This Already

So if you follow me on twitter, you would know this post was coming.  I came home from a program at Michael's school last night on "why you should send your child to our Kindergarten when there is a perfectly good free Kindergarten down the street," totally stressed and freaking out.  See, I had made up my mind.  I had decided on public school.  Because we had done all the testing and he doesn't have a diagnosis and his behavior is better and he is no different than any other Kindergartner.  So why can't he just go to public school?

And then, I spent 90 minutes listening to the why Montessori is better spiel and I was all, ARGHHHH, maybe we should keep him here.  He is doing well and it is a 3 year cycle (screw the fact the he has only been there 3 months, it is a three year cycle and we can't break the cycle), kids can move around the classroom, and Michael needs that.  Montessori kids became leaders, they transition better at first grade than at Kindergarten.  THEY HAD RESEARCH, RESEARCH.  (Okay, I'm being facetious a little  because, clearly, they are trying to sell me something.  But I'm also a slave to marketing and was falling for it hook, line, and sinker.)

And then my real fears started to seep through.  What if he becomes a "behavior problem" again?  What if he gets "labeled" in public school?  He'll never shake the label.  Public school is evil.  We need to pay for Montessori forever. 

Why is this so hard?  WHY CAN'T I JUST MAKE THIS DECISION?

As of right now, I'm deciding not to decide.  We will register him both places and decide closer to September.  It is March.  A lot can change between now and September.  The heavens could part and I could instantly know what to do.  Man, that would be nice, wouldn't it?

Comments

[Keyona]

Yeah, that is a tough decision. Sometimes it's a little scary to let them move on. He may do well where he is but he might do just fine in public school. Sometimes you have to just take a risk. You'll know when the time gets closer. Good luck!

[Grandmere]

I am a huge fan of Montessori education. When done correctly, it is a wonderful experience for young learners.. But you need to decide what is best for your child. Maybe talking to parents of children in the Montessori program who have been in it for several years? Or asking to visit the public school and observe the classrooms? I will not recommend Montessori for you because like public schools, they are not all created equal.

[Liss]

You know why it's a hard decision? Because he will be fine either way. Really. But it's our job to give our kids the Absolute Very Best (subtitle: Or They Will Be Messed Up Forevermore) even when we have no clue which is better, or best, or what that even means.

The hardest truth is that our kids will succeed - or screw up - in life no matter what we do, at some level. Most of our kids will do both, but we hope they'll screw up in minor ways and succeed in major ways. All we can do is try to give them what they need to get there, and you're giving Michael that no matter where he goes to Kindergarten.

(I'm no help at all, am I?)

[Shantelle Argyle]

You're exactly right, Liss. He will be fine either way. It's just so hard because we really do have this expectation that the decisions we make will either cause our kids to fail or flourish. I think if we can just get the basics down, (like feeding them?) they'll be fine, but every damn day there is some new article telling us we're doing something wrong. Time to do what our moms did, "It's my kid, I can raise it how I want."

I think deciding not to decide is just the right thing, Jodi. See how it goes.

[Megan]

I've been on this road. Actually, I'm on it right now with middle school. It doesn't get any easier with practice, I'm afraid.

Lisa and Shantelle are right. He'll be fine either way. And if he's not, if you think you've made the wrong choice once you get started, you can always change. Kids are so much more resilient than we are. And kindergarten is a lot harder when you're a mom than when you're 5.

[Melissa]

I bet that by September the decision will make sense and it will be easier. I feel for you though- the decisions just don't get easier, do they?

[Patty]

I've been here before too. I kept my oldest at Montessori for Kindergarten. I had the same worries about transitioning into 1st grade and being able to make friends when all the other kids already knew each other. It turned out fine. There were several kids that were new in 1st grade. My second child really wanted to go to public school for Kindergarten so I let her. If I had it to do over again....I think I would have chosen Montessori Kindergarten for both.

[Issa]

There is no easy answer on this one. I think registering him for both and then going with your gut is the way to go. A lot can happen between now and September.

That all being said? My kids are in a Montessori-ish program. I adore it. It's what works best for them at this point. I'm lucky that it's a k-12 program. However, if they choose later to try traditional skill, I'd let them make the switch.

[SoCalledSupermom]

I found your blog through DC Metro Moms.....

We are struggling with the decision about first grade - http://supermom04.blogspot.com/2010/03/struggling.html

Who knew these "simple" choices would be so hard !!!!

[ioio]

very smart idea on registering for both schools. you will be able to follow your heart more once you see continuous progress over the next few months. a block away from where we rent is a public montessori school. enough to keep us here in our rented apt. until we have kids because you can't find this deal anywhere. our landlord's kids go there and they love it. wish there was this deal for you where you live!

[Heather Strauss]

Michael is bright engaging child who wants to learn. In the end the teacher is the most important component to a child's success. Trust your instincts and you will know what decision to make. How are the drums?

[FishyGirl]

Good plan. He'll be fine either way, I know he will and you know he will. It will come down to what works best for your family as a whole. Were you able to get in to see the local school?