New Beginnings

Michael starts a new school today.  Well, he has been there the past two days, but on a "trial basis."  And after two days, the Director, who is fabulous, and has been fully versed on his "issues" was like, "I'm not seeing what they are seeing.  He is so attentive.  Everyone loves him.  He sits at circle time.  I was expecting some demon child."  And I'm like, what the hell?  And I go back to, a child can not have a disability in one setting, it is impossible.

So he is all registered and signed up and withdrawn from the other school.  Who, even when I withdrew him, still wanted to defend their position to me.  I'm like, we are done.  It is over.  Get over it. 

I'm not in total denial.  This could just be a honeymoon period.  A blip on the radar screen.  A complete and utter abnormality.  He could erupt tomorrow.  Or next week.  Or next month.

Or, this could be everything he needs.  This could finally be true.

I really struggled with moving him.  I wanted the new school to work.  I didn't want to admit I made a mistake when I changed his school from before.  I didn't want to have to move him again.  And then Doug said to me, "you know what the definition of insanity is?  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something to change."

And I got it.  He was never going to get a fair shake at that school.  As my sister said, "he is four.  He needs someone to wrap their arms around him and love him." 

I hope two good days mean we are on an upswing.  I hope these past 2 months are a blip on Michael's life history and that in 5 years we won't even remember that people told us he would never succeed in kindergarten or would never read.  

More than anything, I want to hope again.  I want to smile again.  I don't necessarily want to eat again, because the stress weight loss thing hasn't been so bad.

Comments

[sara]

sometimes a new environment can be all he needs! I hope Michael has great successs at his new school.

[Grandmere]

Wishing Michael happy days and success ahead!

[the new girl]

Aw. I'm sorry I fell off the earth but this is good to read. I love what your sister said. And I am madder than ever at the other school. WTH, school. Never read? REALLY?!?

Shame on them.

Best to you all.
xo

[Jessi]

I'm sooo happy to read that he is doing well at the new school. There is just something fishy about that school. I can't believe they told you he'd never read! Idiot school.

[Jamie Bowden]

I don't necessarily want to eat again, because the stress weight loss thing hasn't been so bad.

Ah...silver linings.

[PunditMom/Joanne Bamberger]

This is such good news. And, of course, you have to make sure anyone you know who considers that other school doesn't go there. Seriously, there are just some places that aren't good environments for any kids and that sure sounded like one of them.

Fingers crossed. But it sounds like he is off to a good start and there are understanding and compassionate people there. xo

[Erin]

Don't look to the future, enjoy the now. Things are great! Whether or not this is a honeymoon period, this school already thinks he is great. That's going to be huge for him - the other school would always have thought of him as a bad kid even if he "turned around" in their eyes. So, forget those idiots! He's in a great place and he's doing well! Good for you for making the switch!

[baltimoregal]

GOOD FOR YOU. I think you made the right choice. Following your gut can't be the wrong thing, especially when you have so many pros who back you up.

[Marilyn]

That's great news that it looks like this new school will work out for Michael. Who knows why his old school saw so many problems. Maybe he had a bad couple of days and they never let him forget it. I commented before that my nephew had similar problems with his preschool right after he moved cities at the same age as Michael and once my sister switched schools the problems were pretty much over. Who knows why. Whatever happened with Michael it sounds like things are are the upswing and that's great news.

[Musings from Me]

I'm with Joanne...definitely let friends know about the problems you had with the previous school. My middle went to a cooperative preschool with a very strict, unreasonable teacher. I was in the classroom twice a month and did what I could but my daughter never talked to her teacher. I did not send my son there even though I paid to whole a spot for him. I make sure to let every friend in this area know about my concerns. Most stick with the school, but a few have switched.

My son is an entirely different child, but I did not want him to go through what his sister went through. In retrospect I should have sought an evaluation for my daughter through ChildFind. There were indicators that she had something going on back in preschool -- shyness around adults. It wasn't until 3rd grade that her teacher mentioned focus. She was tested and was found to have ADHD. She now talks to teachers. ADHD medication is a lifesaver for her and for me (I started taking it recently).

[M&Co.]

I hope this change is good for Michael! I moved my BoyChild to a different school on Monday and have been getting positive reports from them as well.

[Rebecca]

That is awesome!!! Seriously, it just doesn't make sense that he has all these 'issues' IN. ONE. SETTING. Ugh. I'm happy that things are going better and that you feel peace in YOUR heart about the situation!

[mouthy_broad]

they are bad people. glad you are done with them and their negativity. would never read? seriously? who says that? even helen keller learned to read!

[magpie]

Here's hoping for the best.

[Janna]

What great news! I am hoping that everything went as well today as the last two days have been.

[Karianna]

Best of luck!

And no, I don't think switching things up over and over again is "denial." Different kids need different environments. You try until you succeed.

My child was expelled from one preschool but did fine at the next. Then he was expelled from one kindergarten, but did fine at the next.

I've read a lot of posts on this subject recently - it is really frightening how intolerant preschools are becoming, but in the name of exactly the opposite - they say they are identifying problems that need diagnosis/help/medication/whatever, but really they are just creating larger barriers for the children and parents.

Fingers crossed for you!

[Kellee]

Expecting a demon child? If that is how he was looked at before, perhaps that is why he was having problems?? I think it is safe to say that environment also shapes behavior, and if he is in with a bunch of assholes (pardon me), which it sounds like he was, then it is entirely possible that it contributed to any issues he was having. Let's keep hoping. *fingers crossed* It's good that he has a fresh start!

[Beth Fish]

So glad Michael is out of there - hope the new school continues to go so well.

[Mom]

Glad Michael had a great two days. He is always wonderful for Dad and I. I hope this school sees what a great and smart child he reaaly is. Love, Mom

[Mel]

Oh, I think you should definitely plan to trot out a picture or future accomplishments to old school just to show them what respecting the child can do. I'm so glad he's settling into the new space.

[jenn]

awesome news :) here's the best of everything at the new school - it sounds like they've got their stuff together. and it sounds like you did exactly the right thing.

[Maura]

GREAT NEWS!!!!! Doing the right thing for your child is never wrong.

[Corey J Feldman]

I'm sure he will do fine at the new school. You did the right thing. Regardless of his disabilities or likely lack therefore of, they were never going to see past their perceptions of him.

[Headless Mom]

Sounds promising!

[Andrea]

I'm sure he will continue to do well. The other school had placed a label on him that they were never willing to remove. This school doesn't believe the label. That speaks volumes.

[Andrea Meyers]

I am so glad for you and Michael. He may run into some snags along the way, but it sounds like the school he is at now is more helpful and not so adversarial.