Perspective

I always stress so much about Thanksgiving.  And this year I kind of threw my hands up in the air and was like, whatever.  It started two weeks before when I realized I couldn't find my recipe folder and I didn't really care.  Instead of freaking out, I calmly sat down and recreated what I could, and made new stuff where I couldn't.  I cut down on the appetizers per Doug's requests, he insisted that we had too much food and nobody cared about the appetizers anyway.  At least 3 people complained about the lack of hummus, so he was wrong.  But whatever.  No one went away hungry.

The shopping got done, the linens got ironed (by Doug, I don't iron), the food got cooked, and besides the last minute scramble to get everything on the table, I really was fine.  I've been too busy stressing about Michael to stress about anything else.  I also think the bigger kitchen helped a ton.  Too many people in my kitchen tends to drive me crazy, but it didn't bother me so much this year because my new kitchen is so much bigger.

I also didn't take one picture, but the new dining room looked lovely with the millions of pieces of formal china that I packed not so lovingly so many months ago.  And Michael made everyone place-mats, which was very fun.

We had a lovely weekend with extended family, both at The Mall and doing some shopping at a mall, at which Michael spent some time at a crowded mall playground, without an issue.  I still don't understand how a child can do so well (well, not so well, he is a 4 year old boy, with all that comes with it) everywhere else can do so poorly in school.  Isn't it normally the opposite?

He has his trial day at the new school today, and we have a conference call at the current school tomorrow, which I'm sure will be fantastic.  I've kind of decided that worst case scenario is we limp along, finish the rest of the year where we are now, go to camp, and then start public kindergarten just like everyone else.  Because there is just no way things can be as bad as they are making them out to be.  Our two private evaluators didn't agree with them.  My sister, who works for the public schools, doesn't agree with them.  We are having him evaluated by the public schools as well.  Maybe we need to take it down a level from deaf-con level 5.

Don't get me wrong, I am not pulling Michael out of the private services we are doing.  I do believe Michael is having behavioral problems at school.  I just don't believe these problems are so outside the range of normal 4 year old boy behavior, nor are they to the extreme that the school is saying they are.  Or the school is exacerbating them.  Or not helping.  There is something there.

So, here we are.  I'm sure tomorrow we will be somewhere else.  It changes daily.

Shoe Friday #56

Janet's adorable shoes. 

Grateful

My mom once told me "you get through in life what you have to."  And to this day, it is the best advice I have ever received.

I have a secret.  When all of this started with Michael, my deepest, darkest fear was, I couldn't do it.  I'm not cut out to be THAT PARENT.  The parent of a kid with special needs.  We still don't know if Michael has special needs, if it is the school, or some combination of both.

But sometimes, through all the mess and chaos, it is important to take a moment to be grateful for all in life I do have, as opposed to be so focused on the negative.  

I'm grateful I'm healthy, at last, and my family is as well.

I'm grateful that Michael, even with all the issues right now, seems relatively unscathed.

I'm grateful for my husband, who after 8 years of marriage, and what seems like a lifetime of being together, still loves me, and I him.  But even more, he gets me.

I'm grateful for my unwavering family support and love.

I'm grateful for my job.

I'm grateful to finally have a house I love, and as Jessica says, makes me want to lie down on the floor, kick my feet up in the air, and scream, I love my house.

I'm grateful to have food to put on my table, even if I have to cook it.

I'm grateful for my friends, both IRL, and in the computer, who keep me grounded and centered.

I'm grateful for the wii fit I was given Friday night (thanks Sarah) and a little birdie told me I may be getting a wii for Hanukkah (thanks Mom!)

This Thanksgiving, even if you are cooking and crazed like me, please take a minute to see the good.  Trust me, I know it is hard.

And then, have some wine (at my house which is supplied by Dad.  Thanks!)

Happy Thanksgiving.

Official Big Boy

Michael declared himself an official big boy last week.  "Mommy, now that I'm an official big boy I think I can make my own lunch."  Lord only knows what that would look like.  My guess is lunch would be marshmallows and fishie crackers.  But official big boy status also comes with good things, like he finally gets himself dressed in the morning without much of an argument.  Sometimes pants are on backwards, socks are forgotten, and I have to remind him that we don't wear t-shirts in November, but it is something and I'm not complaining.  Yesterday he wore his pants backwards all day "because he liked it that way."  My new parenting motto:  pick your battles. 

Michael finds it fascinating that I paint my nails and has been asking me for a long time to paint his.  "Mommy, now that I'm an official big boy can you paint my nails?" he asked me on Saturday.  I couldn't think of a reason I couldn't, other than, you know, he's a BOY.  I asked Doug if he cared and he assured me he didn't.  So on Saturday afternoon while I should have been getting ready for a charity dinner, I was doing this.

I don't think he is going to be having too much of a gender identity crises. 

At this point, I'd like that to be the biggest of our issues.

My Favorites

My favorites are easy identifiable, here.  But if I had to pick two, they would be:

The Hardest Part Is Over

and

Maybe, Someday

I must have a Rob Thomas thing.

Thank you for spending year 3 with me.  I can't wait to see what year 4 brings.

And the winner of the contest is Diane.  (Email me your address and the Starbucks gift card is yours!)  You will have to trust me.  I would have taken a screenshot of the number random.org picked, but I don't know how to do that.  Sweetney, my boss over at mamapop, is always like, take a screen shot, and I'm too embarrassed to tell her I don't know how.  So, um, Tracey, I don't know how.

Last Day

to enter the contest.  And here is the thing.  I said no cheating.  But it is not like I would ever know.  Contest closes at 7 pm tonight.

Winner announced tomorrow.

 

Shoe Friday #55

Megan's shoes, handpainted from Etsy.

Contest! Reminder! And I'm A Model!

Don't forget about my favorite post contest.  Last year this contest had a ton of entries.  What changed?  (oh yeah, twitter.)  I do love twitter, but I think it is cutting down on blog comments.  The prize is a Starbucks gift card.  Who doesn't love a Starbucks gift card?  (Not sponsored by Starbucks, sponsored by me.) 

And in another news, I'm going to be in an online fashion show tonight.  Yeah, stop laughing.  I never thought jodifur=model either.  But handbags are just one step away from shoes.  Tune in, it should be a blast.  I'm missing my couch and Grey's Anatomy for this. 

Why Am I Not Doing Na Po Blog Whatever?

Because I'm too busy stressing about Thanksgiving. 

Can we make this another month than November.  Like April.  I've got nothing going on April.  (I say that now.)

DCMM: Turkey and Stuffing and Cranberry Sauce: Oh My

This will be my ninth year hosting Thanksgiving for a large crowd.  Ninth year.  Every year I promise myself I will not stress.  I will plan better.  I will start earlier.  I will, something.....

Ha!

This year we moved, twice, and now my son is having significant problems in preschool, and I work part-time, and all of a sudden I turn around and Thanksgiving is a week and a half away.  A week and a half away.  I have ordered a very large turkey and discovered that I have no idea where my recipe folder is.  Good times!

Look, I know the holidays are supposed to be filled with the wonderment of cinnamon and vanilla smells throughout your home and the laughter and love of family and friends.  But really, does anyone who HOSTS the holidays feel this way?  And if you do, how?  Other than Xanax and wine?

I'm not trying to complain.  It's lovely that my son has both sets of grandparents alive and that our sisters come and everyone gets to be together.  It is, and I am not trying to trivialize that.  I just don't remember the last time I ate on Thanksgiving.  Oh wait, it was 10 years ago, before I started hosting it.

Instead of writing this blog post I should be looking for my recipe folder.  Or trying to recreate it.  Or making shopping lists or cooking lists or some other kind of list.  Or maybe try to convince my husband that one of those boxed pick up and go Thanksgiving dinners REALLY IS the way to go.

I suggested that to my husband one year and his response to me was "I don't know what you are talking about.  Thanksgiving is not that hard."  Yes, the fight that ensued was epic.  And yes, IT REALLY IS THAT HARD THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

I think I will procrastinate just a little bit longer.