There has been a lot of discussion of bugs, for the bloggers in the DCarea.
Since we have moved into this house, we have been tortured by crickets. This one cricket actually. It has taken up residence under my china cabinet and we can't get it out and it chirps ALL NIGHT LONG. Even Michael one morning told me he didn't sleep well because of "some bug."
Yesterday morning, the cricket jumped out RIGHT IN FRONT ME. Now, let me explain, this was not a regular cricket. This was the cricket that ate Manhattan. This thing was enormous. So I did what any normal person (well, woman) would do, I screamed. A lot. And then I grabbed Doug's huge work boots and I smashed the hell out of the cricket. That thing, like the nuclear cricket it was, REFUSED TO DIE. That hangeron cricket survived being smashed to smithereens, for several minutes.
Michael was laughing hysterically while this was going on. He told everyone at school about "Mommy screaming at the cricket." He was cracking up in the background while I told Doug this story on the phone. I'm still not convinced that cricket was not going to eat us and I didn't save our lives. I can see the headlines now, woman and 4 year old eaten by cricket, news at 11.
But my playgroup, which Michael has been a part of since he was 6 weeks old, decided that it would be oh so much fun for 6 toddlers and all the families to go camping. Like for real. With tents. And bugs. And no showers. And the outside.
Doug is going, with Michael. Michael thinks this is the best idea he has ever heard. I am just hysterically laughing as Doug gets the camping emails because I am left out of all communications related to it. I may go for dinner. And smores.
This came in during the move, and I never properly responded. Thank you for awarding me one of the Top 100 Parenting Blogs. I am touched, and honored, and oh so surprised.
Everytime I think about stopping to blog, and it has been happening a lot lately, I think of the people I have met, both in person and online, and the lives who have touched me, and I can't imagine leaving this space.
Thank you for making me just a small part of your day.
Thanks for all of the emails and comments about this. I wish I could say the meeting was great and we solved the problem, wahoo! But no, the meeting was not great, and we didn't solve the problem. I don't even know what the problem is. Neither does the school.
I'm doing what I do best. I'm making lists. I'm making phone calls. I'm asking for help. I'm not ashamed to ask for help and it is clear Michael needs help.
I believe in Michael. I believe he CAN succeed. I just need his school to believe it. I'll never stop fighting for him. That is my most important job.
Here is the thing. I am kind of reluctant to post this. For two reasons. One is because I hate being THAT BLOGGER. You know, the look at me, how much money I have, my house is so big, and I'm going to post pictures of every thing I own and buy blogger. This house was such a stretch for us and we skimped and saved and in the end we lucked out. We got it at a rock bottom price because the owners were divorcing.
Also, well, because this video sucks. It is like Jodi's house meets the Blair Witch Project. It is dark and shaky and I spend a second on the kitchen which is awesome and I apparently can not take video. Which is why I don't own a video camera. This was shot with my new camera which I barely knew took 5 minute videos. And I hate my voice.
But anyway, at least 10 people asked for it so here it is.
There is something I have avoided talking about here because it feels wrong. It feels inherently like it is Michael's story to tell, not mine. We are getting to the point that at 4, I feel like Michael is entitled to privacy that this blog does not allow. But it is also my story, and the time has come for me to share it.
Michael is having trouble at school. The exact trouble doesn't really matter, but it is not academic in nature. Academically, he is right on target. He is disruptive and sometimes aggressive in class and his school feels as if they can no longer handle him without things like consultants and meetings and evaluations.
I am at a loss as to what to do. The boy they are describing to me is not the boy I know. I have no doubt the incidents they describe are happening, but they do not happen at home. They are looking at me for guidance, and I have none.
I spend my career advocating, and in many respects advocating for children. The time has come for me to advocate for my child, and I do not know how to do it. I know that I do not agree with some of the things the school is doing, or not doing. But I also do not want to develop an adversarial relationship with them. I know we need to work together to solve this problem.
I want them to see Michael for Michael. Not some problem child or difficult child. They have completely discounted the terrible year he has had. Me getting sick, his hand, the four months of stress with the move. I believe that once we are settled for some period of time this behavior may stop. They do not. Yesterday Michael had his first perfect day in a long time, maybe ever. Which leads me to believe this behavior is related to the move, and now that we are settled it is going to get better.
And what if they are right? What if the problem is organic, or medical? And what if I am right and he is just a 4 year old going through a difficult time? I'm not sure it matters who is right and who is wrong, but I know he can not go into Kindergarten with this behavior.
We meet this afternoon. Words can not express how many other place I would rather be.
Words can not express how much I love this house. After 8 years of hating, truly hating my house, loving my house has affected every bit of me. Yes, it has only been 5 days, but I feel lighter. Happy.
It's amazing how much hating your house can affect you, and you don't even know it. You turn the key in the lock to come home and you feel, depressed, moody, grumpy. I don't feel that anymore.
Until the movers showed up with our stuff Wednesday morning there was a little piece of me who still believed this was not actually going to happen. I spent the last 30 days expecting a call from the realtor, the bank, our sellers, ANYONE, to tell us that HA! oops, a mistake was made and you don't get that house. Sorry.
I feel like for the rest of my life I will think that I am house sitting. My bedroom feels like a hotel. None of it feels real, yet. It may some day, but it doesn't now.
After all the trauma to get here, the move was crazy smooth. The movers told us 4 hours, we were unloaded in two. Verizon, DirectTV, new furniture, everyone showed without a problem. Everything was easy. Everything was seamless. It was like when I had a very easy labor after a problematic pregnancy, my doctor said, it is always one or the other. I deserved an easy move after everything else.
Michael is overjoyed with his big room, and yard, and huge play room.
Every morning he would wake up and race downstairs and scream, my
playroom, like he was surprised it was still there.
We are mostly unpacked. Pictures are hung. Empty boxes sit in the garage waiting for a friend to pick up because she is moving soon. I took the week off of work to get settled yet somehow we are all ready settled.
Tomorrow, I can hardly believe it, we move in to the new house. When this process started four month ago, I never really thought we would get here. Hell, I still don't think we will get there. I still feel like any minute someone is going to walk in and say ha! It was all a joke. You still live in the G-d awful town house. Or your parents house.
Many, many month ago, I had a dream we lived with my parents. For very different reasons. My dream was that we were bankrupt and we had to sell the house and move in with my parents, but still, I had some kind of foreshadowing what was going to come. I like to think I have psychic dreams.
Thank you for taking this journey with me. It wouldn't have been the same without you.
Please excuse me if I don't post for a while. Tomorrow night we are taking Michael to see Walking With Dinosaurs. The tickets were purchased long before the moving started and who would have ever guessed what was to come. And who even knows when we will have internet again. I'm guessing 2012 given my Verizon track record.
