Shoe Friday #7

This weeks shoes brought to you by Wife and Mommy.

I hope everyone had a wonderful and joyous Thanksgiving that involved no family drama, yummy food, and your drink of choice. And I hope today finds you not at work, not cleaning up, and shopping if you want. Me, I'm headed to my family's beach house. And if you want to be a part of shoe friday, send me your shoes, socks, tights, whatever, to jodi@lucidphoenix.com.

DCMM: Mommy, What is Marriage?

My 3 year old came home from preschool asking a bunch of questions about marriage.  From what I could gather from the limited information he gave me, a classmate had been absent for a few days because a parent had recently gotten married, or remarried, I wasn't sure.

"Mommy, what's marriage? Avery got married.  Are you married?  Avery said she has a new family.  What's a family?"  My first thought was to answer "when a man and a woman love each other they get married and then a few years later they have a baby and then they are a family."  And then I thought no.  I don't believe that.  I'm not telling my son that.

I live a very traditional life.  I got married at 26, to a man that was 30.  I went to college, I went to law school, and then I got married. We waited 3 years and then we had a baby.  We are a family.  But that was me, that was my choice.

There are lots of ways to be a family.  Lots of couples do not get married because they cannot, because the law will not let them.  They have children.  They are still a family.  Lots of couples do not get married because they do not want to because it is not important to them.  They have children.  They are still a family.  Lots of couple are married and do not have children.  They are still a family.  Adopted children are the children of their parents.  The children.  Not the adopted children, the children.

I refuse to teach my son that there is a right way and a wrong way to marriage and family and happiness.  I stopped myself from giving him the traditional answer.  After some thought I said "when two people love each other they sometimes get married.  Marriage is a choice.  Every day you chose to love each other and be kind to each other like Daddy and I are.  And then Mommy and Daddy had you.  And we are a family.  But there are lots of different families.  Some families have two mommies and some have two daddies and some families are only a mommy and some are only a daddy.  All families are full of love.  That's what makes a family.  Love."

"Okay Mommy."

And I realized I didn't have to only teach the traditional script because it was easier.  I could rewrite the script.  I could make him understand that families are different and people are different and what matters is the love.  And even though he is 3, and I am sure some of what I said went right over his head, I hope some of it got through.  And if I say it often enough, it will.

Turkey Pardoning

This is still dumb. (apologizes to those who follow me on twitter since I basically twittered the same thing but I could not resist. Enjoy your non pardoned turkey tomorrow. As a vegetarian, all my turkeys are pardoned. Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm Taking A Thanksgiving Break

There is a lot of cooking and craziness going on at casa de jodifur so things are going to be a little quiet around here for the rest of the week. Probably. I always say that and then blog anyway. And hey, guess what? I'm back to being all Marthay. Michael is making the placemats I'm putting out for Thanksgiving. They are so not going to match my wedding china but it is going to be very cute. And this little craft project, my idea. What the hell is happening to me? I leave you with another picture from the vacation that keeps on giving. And I'm even in this one. This one is from my sister in law.

We Are Raising the Starbucks Generation

I took Michael to Starbucks after the gym on Saturday. He is not crazy about the kids klub (not a typo, alliteration, yeah!) at my new gym and I bribe him with scones so I can go to body pump. Mother of the year am I. The man in front of me ordered a "kids hot cocoa kids temperature" and Michael turned to me, eyes all wide and said "can I have a kids hot cocoa?" and I said "sure." For some reason it never occurred to me to order him a hot cocoa. And we go to Starbucks, a lot. He was at Starbucks on his third day of life. I handed him his drink and he yelled, at the top of his lungs, with pure unadulterated joy, "I have my own 'tarbucks, like Mommy and Daddy and Nanny." And then he talked about the hot cocoa for 6 hours. And all day on Sunday. I think he thinks we have been keeping this secret from him his whole life. But I have a new thing to bribe him with now.

How About Some Reading Material For Your Saturday Morning?

I'm very proud of this post over at DC Metro Moms about explaining marriage and tolerance and diversity to Michael. And I'm talking about the MySpace trial over at MamaPop. Come on, no one blogs on the weekends. You know you are looking for something to read.

And The Winner is

Thanks for all your comments and picks. This contest has been one of my favorite things I have ever done on jodifur and I think I'm going to make it a yearly occurrence on my blogiversary. Seeing what everyone picked and their reasoning for it was fascinating. I had forgotten about some of the posts people picked. I am obviously biased, but here are some on my favorites that were not mentioned. I Am a Mascot Strict Constructionist 3 Years My Love List My absolute favorite post from this year was when I threw my hat into the political ring. And I've decided I would like to keep it there. I'm not sure what that means. Stay tuned. And the winner is Kris. Email me your address to jodi@lucidphoenix.com and whether you want a starbucks card or an itunes card and I will get it right out to you. I promise. Not weeks and weeks like it was my last contest.

Shoe Friday #6

Two pairs this week, brought to you by Jean, who wore the first pair to her sister's wedding in San Francisco and the second touring the city. And don't even get me started on the fact that her sister's marriage may be very, very short because of Proposition 8. Love is Love. Love is Love.

And you have a few hours left to enter the contest. Winner announced in a few hours.

In Lieu of An Actual Post Its Pictures From a Vacation That Happened Months Ago

What can I say? It has been one hell of a week. Single parenting and dog walker firing. But look, beach pictures from our vacation in August. And it's even not my fault they are so untimely because my father in law just sent them to me.

Dogwalkergate

I had the carpets steam cleaned yesterday. It's a once a year occurrence, always the week before Thanksgiving. With a dog and a small child and especially with potty training, well, it just had to happen. It's a company that I always use and trust immensely. They are the same company that we used after our basement flooded 6 years ago and lets just say I have never, ever had an issue with them. I let them in, gave them the run down, and headed out. As I was walking out the door I explained I had a dog that was in a crate and a dog walker coming in to walk the dog but she would put him back in the crate if they were not done when she got there. He asked what time she came and I said about noon and he said he thought they should be done. I gave them my cell phone number in case they needed me and left. Around noon my cell phone rang. "Um, Mrs ____, we are done, but there is a little problem." "What's wrong?" "Your dog walker came, she walked in, wrote a note, left it on the table and left, she never walked the dog. I read the note. She said she walked the dog. But she didn't. I'm not trying to pry. I hope you don't mind but I walked the dog. But I can't get him back in the cage. He peed and pooped outside when I walked him. But he growls when I try to get him in the crate." "Um, what? Back up. She didn't WALK THE DOG." "No, ma'am." (I hate when people call me ma'am but I totally gave this guy a pass because he sounded like he was going to cry. He so thought I was mad at him). "The note said she did but she didn't. I felt bad for the dog so I walked him. But I can't get him in the crate." "Oh, it's ok. He was only in the crate because of you. He's not locked up normally." "Oh." "Thank you so much for walking him. That was so nice of you. You really didn't have to do that." "I felt really bad for him. She totally lied" "Um yes. I will be firing her now. Thank you so much." I hung up and called the dog walking company. Who didn't even call the dog walker before they told me that was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard and the carpet company was lying and I should sue them for even touching my dog. I told them I had had my suspicions for a while, that she would often "forget to leave reports" or "forget to feed my dog" which was probably code for "forget to show up." And then they decided to fight with me. "Why would they walk your dog?" "Why would you NOT walk my dog?" "Why would she lie?" "Why would they lie?" "Well Foster is a difficult dog." "I know Foster is a difficult dog. That's your justification, for lying?" You can see how well it went. I finally demanded my key back. I have 5 dog walker interviews set up for this weekend. The weekend before Thanksgiving. I totally have nothing else to do. I think the first question I am going to ask is "so, are you actually going to WALK MY DOG?"