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Since this whole Shoe Friday thing was Doug's idea I decided to include him. And Michael took the picture.
And Happy Halloween!
Monday was a bad day. It was the first day I remember where I was in a tremendous amount of pain. If that's mild Lupus I'd prefer not to have the more serious kind.
My doctors appointments have consistently been on Fridays, and that's because I'm always thinking of my blog readership. I can keep you all guessing and make sure you come back on Monday.
Actually, it's because I don't work on Fridays. I was thinking recently how lucky I am that all this health stuff started after Michael went to preschool. Last year he was only in a home daycare the three days I worked, and I would of had to schedule doctors appointments on those days and taken sick leave from work. This way I schedule them on a day I don't work and Michael is in school. I can even extend him into the afternoon if I have to because the school has aftercare for a whopping 7 dollars an hour that can be used on a drop in basis. I use it on the days I work, but I've also used it for doctors appointments. And even though we didn't budget for it, it will not kill us. I am lucky we can afford it.
I am lucky to have an understanding job that can be flexible. If I need to miss work one day I can make it up another day. And while we may be being furloughed I really have no chance of being fired. You basically have to murder someone to be fired from my cushy Government job, and I like to think I'm fairly good at.
I am lucky to have decent health insurance. Ironically I didn't start getting answers until I saw doctors that didn't take health insurance but my health insurance still reimburses me and you know what, it won't bankrupt us. It's not that we can afford it so much as we can make it work. And I know I have family and friends that will help me in anyway they can.
Even with everything that is going on, I am very, very lucky.
I was twittering for an idea to blog about and reading blogs when I found this post and this post and decided to indiscriminately steal the idea. I may be way over 25, but here is what I have learned in my 33 years.
1. Be a good friend. Even if you are a better friend to them then they are to you, it will be worth it in the end.
2. Be true to yourself.
3. Accessorize.
4. There are boys you date and boys you marry. You can date a boy you marry but don't ever marry a boy you date. It will not end well.
5. Have a good work ethic.
6. If you don't think it looks good on you, don't buy it. Even if everyone in the room is telling you it looks good on you, you will never wear it.
7. You know your wedding dress when you find it. You do not have to go to 10 more stores and look at 100 more dresses.
8. Don't discount an entire genre of music. I say I hate Country music but I loved the County song my friends danced to at their wedding this weekend.
9. Pretty people also have problems. I used to never believe this but I've found it to be true.
10. Figure out what makes you happy and do it. Be it blogging, reading, knitting, exercising, find something you love to do and make time for it, even if it means time away from your spouse and kids. You will be happier.
11. Date your spouse. Make time for each other. Leave the kids at home, and get out! At least once a month.
12. Don't buy uncomfortable shoes, even if they are adorable and match your outfit perfectly. It's not worth the pain.
Last week I went to Target for napkins. I came home with art.
 Wine themed art on clearance? How could one resist?
 Now I want to redo all the art in the house. Hey, I'm never moving so I may as well make the house look nice.
On Friday I got the best news I could possible hope for. While I have lupus, and will always have lupus, I have the mildest form you can have, and still have lupus. There is a 10 percent chance it will become worse. but I'm choosing to focus on the 90 percent chance that it won't. It's all about being positive, right?
As I left the doctors office I reached down for my phone to call Doug and my parents to give them the news and it rang just as I pulled it out of my purse. It was Nicole, coordinating the DC Metro Moms party. I of course had to tell her the news and someone who I only know through blogging became the first person to share in my joy. Her happiness for me was real and touching. She found out before my husband.
The party that night was a blast, and I honestly have to say the DC Metro Moms are the loveliest group of women. I drove Mary, Stacy, and Lindsay in the Traverse Chevy had given me for the week to drive. Leticia presented me with peapod gift cards, gifts from the DCMM crew because I had been sick and turned down all offers of help and food being brought to my house. Of course I left them on the table at the restaurant and they have yet to be located. I'm so bummed, but the thought was so lovely that they did something like that for me. And there was wine, a lot of wine.
And then we went to a wedding Saturday night with even more liquor and there may have been some drunk twittering on my part. I will neither confirm nor deny the rumors of it's existence.
All in all a fabulous weekend that involved good news, good friends, and lots of lots of wine. And a wicked bad hangover.
Our first shoe is from Delora, who gave me the yummiest cookies at BlogHerDC. 
Send me your shoes! jodi@lucidphoenix.com
You hear the word community a lot when you blog. The mommy blogging community, the blogging community as a whole, being a good blog citizen, etc. etc. And I have to say, this is simply the best community I have ever known. Yes, there is drama. No, not everyone gets along. But the love and support that flows from this community is like nothing I have ever seen. I wrote this for me. Because the best thing I can do for me is to be positive. That is not to say that people who aren't positive in the face of disease are wrong. This is my blog and my story, so I write about me. I was shocked by the comments and emails and love and links back here. Yes, it's always nice to see the number on your stat tracker go up, but really, the idea that people read that and thought they should share it and admire me, me(!) for simply writing down how I feel is astonishing. I read and responded to every commenter that left a valid email, and if you did not get an email from me it was not because I didn't read it or it didn't touch me, but simply because I didn't have your email. The emails, both good and bad, (and yes, there were bad) meant more than you could ever know.
My life has changed dramatically in the two years since I started blogging, and it's all for the better. I am never ashamed to be a "mommy blogger" or a blogger in general. And that's because of all of you. Thank you for taking this journey with me. This is my blog. This is my story. Thank you for being here.
I spent all weekend adding categories to old posts (look to the left, scroll down a little, there are my categories, aren't they cute!), and I realized a couple of things. First of all, some of the posts on this blog are terrible and I really should delete them. But, I didn't, I felt like I needed to keep them for "blog honesty." I'm not sure why I put that in quotes since I just made that term up.
Second of all, this is totally a mommy blog. "Random Parentness" was the most used category by far.
Third of all, this is my 600th post! Wahoo! To celebrate, I'm giving you some of my most recent search terms,
The thing that brings most people here is related to naming squirrels. People need a lot of help naming squirrels, that is for sure. Why are you naming squirrels? Are you keeping squirrels as pets?
"Fucking in trains" brought someone here as well. Huh? Did I write about that?
"I'm republican, someone has to pay for welfare." Time to change parties, honey.
"Multiple personalities + toddler." It's called Dissociative Disorder now and toddlers are way to young to be diagnosed with it. Did I ever say Michael has the disorder previously known as MPD?
I learned at BlogHer DC that reviewing my search terms was supposed to teach me what brings people to blog and what I should be writing about. Not sure what I learned from this.
Doug has a weekly card game. Every Wednesday night, like clockwork, he drives to way far out Virginia and plays some card game I don't understand with his friends. He has been doing it forever, and it's sacred to him. So, every Wednesday night I am parenting alone. Doug doesn't feel guilty about it, it's just part of his weekly schedule.
I go out to dinner once a month with the moms in my playgroup. It's a dinner I look forward to all month, and normally the only time I am out without Doug or Michael. In the past two weeks I will have been out 3 nights, and most of last Sunday because I went to the Redskins game with a girlfriend. And I feel guilty.
I don't feel guilt because Doug's mad, or because I don't think I deserve the time out, it's more because it's so much time, all piled up at once. And it's silly, I'm entitled to a life, even if that life includes a lot of activities at the same time, like BlogHer and a DC Metro Moms party, in which the lovely people at Chevy gave me a Traverse to drive for a week and to drive my fellow bloggers to the party. Wasn't that nice of them?
But I can't shake the guilt, like I'm falling down on the mom and wife job and spending too much time as a blogger and a party girl. Not that Michael minds, he loves his alone time with Daddy.
Where's Devra when you need her?
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I want to say a big thank you for all the thoughtful and lovely comments yesterday. I tried to email back everyone whose email I could find. If you did not get an email back from me do not doubt that your comment was read and appreciated. I honestly think that this blog is what is keeping me grounded and secure during everything that is going on.
I was on the elliptical at the gym on Friday when the phone rang, and even though the gym has a no cell phone policy I answered it because I knew who it was. The woman next to me hissed, "you can't have phones in here" just when I heard, "Jodi, it's Dr. _____. Your tests results are back." I heard her inhale and before she even said it I knew what is coming. I left the gym and stood outside, waiting for the words. "It's not Lyme, it's Lupus." Lupus, a chronic, auto immune, life long condition. And I knew. I knew when it was first suggested to me, even when I was walking around like I don't have Lupus, you people are crazy. Too many things just made sense, and explained things about me doctors had never been able to explain. The anemia, the migraines that never responded to any medication, the fact that my hands and feet got tingly and fell asleep even if I was using them, and the oddest of all, Lupus pregnancies tend to end in pre-eclampsia which mine did with no explanation. And, we can't forget the incredibly swollen hands and feet and the weird rash that started me down this road in the first place.
So, Lupus. And everyone around me is expecting me to freak out. Cry, throw things, maybe just react, but I'm remarkably calm. This does not change anything, just gives a name to how I feel. Doug thinks I'm in a deep, deep denial.
I promise you right now, this will not become a sickness blog. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I will not wallow in this. I will not be sick for the rest of my life. I'm 33, a wife, a mother, an attorney, and active. I will be healthy. I will have a life. I believe the mind is powerful. I believe I can refuse to be sick. And hey, people with Lupus tend to have unexplained weight loss. I'm waiting for that. I better get something out of this.
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