A Post I Never Thought I Would Write

Last week, I went to see the musical version of The Lion King and left a non napping, pooping on the floor Michael with our favorite babysitter. When I explained the poop situation and offered to put him in a diaper, her responses was"I really don't care. I understand it upsets you, but really, I don't care." I gave her a raise. I also explained how if by some miraculous act of G-d he does poop on the potty she can give him a present and ice cream and MAKE A HUGE BIG DEAL OF IT. Do a cheer maybe, since she is a college cheerleader and all. Off I went and drank a bottle of wine at dinner before the show. And I slept through the first act. At intermission I called Amy the wonder babysitter who informed me Michael popped on the potty. He just ran over and did it. And she gave him a present and ice cream and did a cheer. I was pissed. I've been working with this kid for months and he poops for a babysitter? The next morning he woke up asking for Amy. Not mommy, not Daddy, but Amy. We went off to Mia's party where Michael proudly showed Beth the truck he picked and bragged about his amazing feat. And Beth, like all toddler potty training moms did all the right things, jumped up and down, high fived, asked to see his big boy underwear. And he was all, yeah, whatever, your not AMY. Amy has become Michael's imaginary friend. He always asks to go to Amy's house. When I tell him we can't he says, "I tend (pretend) to go to Amy's house" and packs up his toys and goes to the kitchen. "Mommy, I'm at Amy's house." But there was nothing in the potty department for days. And then, all of a sudden, pooping on the potty. By himself. No prompting from us. One time I was on a whole other floor of the house and he called me to tell me he had pooped on the potty. He did it so many times yesterday I ran out of cheap dollar store toys and need to buy more. Clearly, Amy needs to start a side business potty training. Because it was much more important to Michael to do it for the pretty 20 something college cheerleader than it was to do it for Mommy. I'm a little worried I'm jinxing myself with this post. So, can you do me a favor? No comments like yahoo or way to go Michael or anything like that. Let's keep it low key like that's interesting, makes sense, or even can I have Amy's number if you are trying to potty train.

Well, Shiver Me Timber

As it turns out, my scale was about 10 pounds off my actual weight. 10 pounds too high. I'm still dieting and exercising but at least my BMI doesn't put me in the overweight category anymore. I chose to believe my new scale. Even if it's wrong.

Before The Storm

On Saturday, we had two birthday parties, Mia's, and my nephews. My nephew's was at a local baseball game at 6:00 pm and of course Michael didn't nap in between. The meltdown that ensued was epic and involved hitting me and MY MOM and the first time in his life he went to bed without getting a book read to him. This was only second to Sunday nights temper tantrum in which he went to bed without and a book and brushing his teeth and pajamas had an hour temper tantrum. This is why he still needs a nap, even though he doesn't think so.

Michael was a tad presumptuous and took it upon himself to blow out Mia's candles. Good thing Mia was such a good sport.

Michael meeting the team's mascot at my nephew's party.

He is holding in his hand the pink butterfly yo yo that was in the favor bucket at Mia's party. So much for girls and boys toys. He has carried that toy with him everywhere he went this weekend.

Lesson learned, cake + no nap + out too late = copious amounts of screaming.

Bloggy Friends

When I started blogging, I had no idea I would develop a whole second set of friends, a set of "blogging friends." And they have become such an integral part of my everyday life. Jessica and Jean brought me back swag from BlogHer to make up for my devastation at not going. We spent Saturday morning at Mia's birthday party in which I left the majority of parenting to Doug while I hung out with Sarah. I've had play dates with Amy and Mary and partied with most of the DC Metro Moms. I've had dinner with Robbin and drinks with Allison. And even though I've never met either one, Kristin is one of my closest email confidante's and I wish I could hug Jennie on a daily basis. This post is not meant to be an I am so cool I know so many bloggers post. It amazes me that this silly thing I do, that we do, brought so many amazing people in my life. I started blogging on a lark, as an experiment, just to see if I liked it. Now, I simply can't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't. Yes, I would probably spend way less time in front of the computer. But I wouldn't know all of you. And somehow, even though in a lot of cases it's though the computer screen, I feel like I actually do know you.

And Now, Things That Are Pissing Me Off This Week

1. I've been working my ass off this week with crazy boot camp and counting calories and I gain 2 lbs. Really? And I gave up liquor for this? Doug had wine with dinner last night AND I DID NOT! NOT EVEN ONE DROP. I haven't had a glass of wine in a week. Really, it's true. And I'm up two pounds. What the fuck? 2. Michael has the ability and intelligence to poop in the potty. I've seen him do it. So, why won't he do it again? What the fuck? 3. Why aren't people commenting? I even opened up comments because people asked me to? What the fuck? 4. Twitter, what the fuck? If I used to follow you on twitter and stopped, I'm sorry. If you used to follow me and stopped, please do so again. Twitter basically imploded and I lost most of the people I followed and who followed me. 5. I've spent the week trying to figure out what the fuck to do about Michael's car seat. He is 3 and a half and 35 lbs. I specifically bought a car seat that harnesses to 65 pounds. I just found out this week that MY STUPID CAR doesn't allow latch or tether over 40 pounds. What the fuck? Why did I buy the ultra expensive car seat? What am I supposed to do, move him to a booster? Buy a new car? The law where I live is 40 lbs and 4 years old before a booster. You know what would be great? If they made all this car seat nonsense a little more confusing. 6. I got a manicure/pedicure yesterday, which normally makes me very happy, and someone had their DOG with them in the salon. Look, I'm a huge dog lover, but what the fuck? Is this Paris? I look the places where the calluses of my feet are scrubbed off to be clean, thank you very much. I think I'm going to say fuck some more. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Can We Just Take A Minute

And admire my very cute shoes?

This is what I was doing at work yesterday after my trial was continued at the last minute the day before.

I look like I have elephant ankles in that picture. But how cute is my wedding photo?

Musical Preschooler

When Michael was born, and actually, even before Michael was born, or even before we were pregnant,we were one of those my kid is never going to watch TV couples. (Yes, well, I hate them now too.) It was actually more Doug than me, but he felt strongly about it and who was I to argue? We never got into the whole Baby Einstein thing, and Michael didn't watch TV his first year of life. And then I bought him, on a lark, Classical Baby by HBO. It became our go to for calming him down. And it really was very clever and soothing. It got lost behind a slew of Elmo, Little Einsteins, Thomas, and other DVDs that arrived when he turned about 18 months old, and all rules about TV went out the window. And then we bought a DVD player for the car and totally become those parents. The parents who do what they said they never would. The other night, when Michael wouldn't calm down, I pulled Classical Baby out. Nothing managed to calm him down except Children's Motrin, but for the past 3 days in a row he has asked for "Musical Baby." And he sits, mesmerized, quiet on the couch. It never would have occurred to me to whip this thing out again, that he would still love it. I think about all those things I said I would never do. Some I followed, he has never slept in our bed. I've never hit him. But I've yelled, which I promised I wouldn't. And I've let him eat crap for breakfast simply because I couldn't have the argument any more. Michael drinks way too much juice, eats way too many sweets, and frequently gets what he wants by whining. I had all these grand ideas before becoming a mom. The right way and the wrong way to do things. Of course, this was all before I knew how terribly hard parenting was. How heart breaking. How lonely. How really, sometimes, all you want to do is be alone. But snuggled up with Michael on the couch, watching a show meant for far younger children, I can believe that all the "I'll nevers" don't matter as much as all the "I dids."

Quick Note

I've gotten some emails about people wanting to comment who don't have blogger accounts. So, I've opened up comments. I haven't enacted comment verification because I find it so annoying, but if I get hit with a lot of spam I might. So please, comment away.

My Poor, Poor, Poor, Baby

Michael has a raging ear infection. Sunday night he screamed for two hours when we tried to put him to bed. He would not go to sleep. And I thought this was normal toddler stubbornness, delaying bed time, stalling, being a pain in the ass, whatever you want to call it. He kept telling me his cheek hurt. I kept telling him to go to sleep. I finally gave him some Tylenol and he settled down and slept, and slept, and slept, and slept. He woke up at 7 am only to call me into his room to ask me if he could go to sleep again. It was at that point I figured maybe I should call the doctor. Turns out he was right. His cheek did hurt. And his ear. And probably his heart since his mother was not listening. Maybe next time I should listen to him instead of deciding he was just being bratty. He has had 24 hours of antibiotics and pain medicine and I sent him off to daycare on his merry way. I'm hoping he makes it through. I have a terrible trial tomorrow and a ton of work to do. Isn't that always the way?

21 Minutes of Hell

Lately I've been struggling. Struggling with with my exercise and eating and my weight is creeping to uncomfortably high numbers. A girlfriend, who recently got into amazing shape, recommended Barry's boot camp. I ordered, it came, I read the instructions, blew up the ball like thingy, and got started. I was so cocky. I put in the advance exercise bands and tried to do the advance workout from the beginning. "I work out all the time, I'm in such a good shape." Yeah, stop laughing. The core exercise DVD is 21 minutes, and then you add on other pieces as you advance. You can do anything for 21 minutes? Um, maybe not. I'm dripping wet, everything hurts and I want to die. And for some stupid reason, I'm planning on setting my alarm at 6 am again and doing this nonsense again tomorrow. Before going to work. For 30 straight days. If I make it a week I will be shocked. I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me either.