Unrealistic Expectations

I just finished a 13 week package with a personal trainer. It was my birthday present from my parents. My readers know that I am a tad too obsessive about weight and exercise. I've been trying to lose the same 10 pounds since the dawn of time. She took measurements at our first session, and took measurements yesterday. And you know what, except for 2 inches off my thighs, everything is exactly the same. And I lost whole 2 whopping pounds, yippee! The whole morning I felt like I had been spinning my wheels. Wasting time and money. I will always be this overweight girl and will never be pretty. I moped. I sulked. I was grumpy. I came home and read this. And then I remembered, I look thinner. My waist looks smaller, my clothes fit loser, measuring tape be damned. Maybe the measurements were wrong. Maybe they are right. But people are telling me I look great, and I feel great. It shouldn't be about numbers, be it the number on the scale or a number on a tape. It's about happiness, being a good friend, good wife, good mother, good person. I am healthy. I am strong. I am me, and I like me, now. Not the person I was when I obsessively counted every piece of food I put in my mouth. Maybe I was thinner then, but I wasn't happy. And happiness counts.

Calling Someone Out

And it's probably not you. I'm pretty sure someone I know, like in real life, like before I started I blogging, like know, has found me, and has read jodifur. It's not worth explaining but I was looking through my stats and there is one that just has to mean this. But I'm too chicken to email or call and say, "I think you found my blog." Because, what if they didn't and are like, "um no, you have a blog?" So, if you are there, and reading this, email me, call me, leave me a comment. Let me know. Or maybe not. More and more I'm thinking I need to come out of the blog closet. Someone is going to find me, come on, I'm hiding in plain sight, on the internet. And I write for 4 blogs. For those of you that have done this, tell me how. I don't want to make a formal announcement, like, hey, I have a blog, but I'm also not so sure I want to hide it anymore either. Because really, I'm not hiding. And there is a possibility my writing is going to be more places. If it hasn't happened yet, it's bound to happen soon. So please, prepare me.

Well, If It's My Opinion You Want

I've gotten a fair number of emails asking for my opinion on the FLDS raid. Well, your wish has been granted. You can read it all here. Sorry for directing you somewhere else. Due to some recent changes on DC Metro Moms, I'm no longer allowed to cross post. So, periodically, if I think I write something especially noteworthy, I'll draw your attention to it. Feel free to comment here, if you prefer. Or ignore, whichever.

DCMM: Where Will it End?

As an attorney who works in child abuse, I have tried to keep my mouth closed about the polygamist sect raid.  Considering I am intimately involved in taking people's children away, I felt my opinion was a little hypocritical.  But after reading this article in the Washington Post, I knew I had to speak.  (Or blog ).

I feel very strongly about child abuse.  I feel very strongly about taking children away from abusive situations.  But, you cannot remove children for "a way of life."  We used to do that, we stopped.

50 years ago, we removed children out of impoverished situations and placed them with wealthier families.  We removed so many Indian children because we felt white homes were better an entire law was written that says we can't do that anymore.

How is this different?  I understand that there are allegations of sexual abuse of teenage girls.  Forcing a teenage girl to marry and have sex is sexual abuse, that is not a question.  And the jurisdiction I practice in has case law that if one child is abused or at risk for abuse, you may remove all children from a family.  So removing all the children actually makes sense, if there is evidence of harm or risk of harm.

But the article in the Post stated that the state will argue "the culture of the church" is harmful to children.  Oy Vey.

I know polygamy is illegal.  But children aren't always removed because of illegal activity.  I routinely see cases where children are left in the home where domestic violence, or drug abuse, are present.  Without ACTUAL abuse or neglect to children, it is hard to remove them.

And it should be hard to remove children from their parents.  Isn't that one of our biggest fears as parents?  That the state is going to swoop in and say we are parenting wrong and take away our children?  And since when can the state take children away because they don't agree with the "culture?"  What's next?  Taking children away from homosexual parents, or a women who chooses not to nurse, or a single mother?

I think Texas needs to slow down and take a step back.  Maybe removing all the teenage girls is the answer.  Maybe trying to find actual abuse or neglect is the answer.  But I don't think removing children because you don't agree with a lifestyle is the answer.  That sets a precedent I am unwilling to live with.  Even as someone who works in child abuse.

Michael, Thomas, Thomas, Michael

On Saturday we went to Day Out With Thomas, Discovery Tour. (I love how the tour has a name, like this is a rock concert or something). I thought this was going to be some great big adventure.

Michael insisted on bringing his new best friend, Boody.

I was thrilled we spent $50 and drove an hour for Michael to play with the EXACT SAME train table we have at home that he totally ignores.

He did enjoy the antique trains though. I was just hoping he didn't break them.

 

Look! It's Thomas, made out of Lego's.

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Time for a little nap in the moon bounce. (Why does every children's activity have a moon bounce?)

Finally, Thomas! I was not waiting in the hour long line to actually take a picture with Thomas, so this is the best you are getting.

He insisted on wearing his Thomas sunglasses on the train.

So maybe I'm a moron, but when I bought tickets for this event which is just a ploy to separate parents from their cash, I thought we would really be riding Thomas. Apparently, they take a Thomas Engine, and throw it on the trains you can ride anytime you go to the B & O Railroad museum. And Thomas only pulls you back into the station. Another engine pulls you the rest of the ride.

Michael thought it was the coolest thing EVER!

Riding a stupid kiddie train ride, we waited like 30 minutes for this thing, but he was really patient.

And, in the end, Michael had a blast, and that is all that matters.

 

When we were leaving, we told Michael he could pick out one toy. Once again, one toy turned into two. Every time we tell Michael he can have one thing, he picks the cheapest thing in the store, this time it was a flashlight. We bought him a book also. (Man he loves this flashlight. The cheap piece of crap broke on Sunday and luckily Doug figured out the light bulb burnt out, in a day, a day(!), and he ran to Lowe's and replaced it. We were dealing with a major melt down.)

Free Stuff!

Who doesn't love free stuff? The review site I contribute to, The Full Mommy, has a ton of giveaways in honor of earth day. Go enter!

Quote Book Saturday Juno Edition

Finally saw this tonight and love, love it! It made me cry, and movies never make me cry. Besides "honest to blog," this is the best quote ever:

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Thank you Doug, for being that person.

I Need Some Reassurance

About a year ago Michael pooped on the potty. About a month ago, Michael popped on the potty. Michael now screams if we mention the word potty. He is the only kid at his daycare not potty trained. When my daycare provider told me she told him today that he was the only kid that wore diapers he said, "I don't care." And he doesn't. Michael is smart. He talks like a first grader. (Trust me, I'm not being an over the top bragging mom, he really does. He told two women in Starbucks his life story recently.) WHY WON'T THIS KID POTTY TRAIN? Or at least show interest in potty training? At least sit on the potty? He is is the only child in my playgroup not potty trained. It's not even like we are working on it, we are working on nothing. My pediatrician said you need verbal skills, desire, and sensation. She said we clearly have the first one, definitely not the second, and she had no idea about the third. In February we are going on the Disney Cruise. If Michael is not potty trained he can not go into the kids club, and I will seriously lose my mind. Please tell me it will happen. Intellectually I know that he will not go to kindergarten in a diaper. He will not walk down the aisle in a diaper. I have always promised myself I would not be the parent who pushes their child, who compares their child to other children. Michael is Michael, other kids are other kids. But, please, PLEASE tell me I do not have the only three year old on the planet who is not potty trained. And please tell me it will not take a year to get him potty trained.

Our Children Speak the Same Language

I took Michael to the playground yesterday after I picked him up. Doug had his weekly card game and it just makes the evening go so much faster if Michael can run around for a little bit. He started playing with this boy about his age, and I realized quickly that this boy did not speak English. I tried to explain to Michael that the boy couldn't understand what he was saying, but Michael didn't care. He would jump, and the boy would jump. He would run, and the boy would follow him. I started talking to his mother, with her broken English and my terrible Spanish. (I basically know pero and that's it.) She told me her family had just moved from Chile and I realized they moved two doors down from us. She was thrilled that her son had found someone to play with. "He's been so lonely. He doesn't know English." I tried to invite her over for a playdate, but she didn't understand what I was saying. When I told Michael it was time to go, he said, "Mommy, I have to say goodbye to my new friend." I started to tell him the boy wouldn't understand, but he started waving. And the boy waved back, and said "Michael." We walked home together and her son realized our house had the big dog. He started jumping up and down and I brought Foster out on a leash and let him pet him. It was like I made this kid's week. How hard this must be for him. To move, not just to a new city, but a new country, and not speak the language. To not understand what is going on around you. I'm glad Michael was able to provide a little entertainment, a little fun for him.

My Dream Has Come True

Carly is gone

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