I Am A Mascot Strict Constructionist

I have this thing about sports mascots. The mascot should be the team name. For example, if your team name is Cardinal, your mascot should be a cardinal, or the color red, not a tree (I'm talking to you Stamford.) Some of the worst offenders are the Pittsburgh Pirates, their mascot should be a pirate, not a stupid parrot, and the Philly Fanatic, what the hell is that thing?

The first (and only) time I went to a Pirates game with my husband (he's from Pittsburgh, it's not his fault) I spent the whole time complaining about the parrot. Yes, I KNOW pirates have parrots for pets, as Doug insisted on telling me like I had no idea, but if the Pirates want their mascot to be a parrot they should change their name to the Parrots. They have a READY MADE mascot. (And don't even get me started on the fact that everyone insists on calling them the Bucs. They are the Pirates. If they wanted to be called the Buccaneers they should have named themselves that. But then it wouldn't alliterate. Issues, issues).

Take the Washington Capitals mascot. It's supposed to be an eagle, but it looks like a chicken (I'll never forget when I want to a Caps game on Halloween and the chicken was dressed up as a cow. So it was an eagle, that looks like a chicken, dressed up as a cow. Comedy gold people, comedy gold.) In order to make the mascot make sense they changed their uniforms and put an eagle's head on it. But they changed them back when they realized that was stupid. If the Caps insist on a mascot, and I really don't see a need for it, a guy could dress up as the Capital building, I just don't see what the problem is with that.

Look, I feel really, really strongly about this. Doug and I have had huge arguments over this. He tells me I'm uncreative. I tell him that mascots should make sense. I'm sorry if your team name does not lend itself to a mascot, think about that before naming your team. Maybe you should not name it for a BUILDING.

And yes, I need more to do. Watching sports is super duper fun with me. I think Doug wished he married someone who didn't watch sports.

Comments

[04/22/2008 at 04:42 PM]

Hmm, yeah, I see your point. But then you have issues when the team won't abandon the team name due to, ah, appropriateness issues. For example, my hometown Syracuse Orangemen. The old time mascot was a Native American in a headdress. Now? It's a gigantic orange. What's he going to do, juice on the competition?Slapshot looks like a chicken? Never thought about that, ha! The new Slapshot does have more eagle-like eyes than the old one, I've noticed. (I'm guessing the costume is new in the past year because I have pics with the "old" Slapshot.)

[04/22/2008 at 05:05 PM]

Slapshot. Really? Maybe he should look like Paul Newman dressed as the Capital Building.Thankfully my school mascot makes sense, Arizona Wildcats, our mascots are Wilbur and Wilma and they are, you guessed it, Wildcats.This brings me comfort because given Jodi's post, I'm scared she would kick my ass if my mascot didn't make sense.

[04/22/2008 at 05:06 PM]

Imagine if instead of the Capitols, Washington went back to being the Senators...which one would you pick to be the mascot?? Oh, the possibilities...

[04/22/2008 at 10:24 PM]

OMG, we so share a brain.Stanford's "mascot" is a COLOR. It isn't the bird, it isn't the Cardinals, it is the color cardinal red. And their mascot is a TREE! And a very obnoxious, annoying tree at that.So many times when I lived in Northern Cali did I attend Stanford games after quite a few beers and let my feelings known about the tree. Those poor kids didn't know what I was so mad about and why I hated trees.

[04/23/2008 at 04:15 PM]

This post made me laugh so hard! I see where you are coming from. If you get another free moment, analyze the mascots in the great state of Indiana. What are boilermakers and hoosiers? (I'm a Boiler by the way)

[04/23/2008 at 04:53 PM]

Oh and don't forget about the Nationals and Screech! Yeah, and as my husband went to Ohio State. You know, the BUCKEYES? Their mascot is an actual tree nut with arms and legs and is named Brutus. Wierd! (But, GO BUCKS!)

[04/24/2008 at 01:29 AM]

I am totally the same way! Like the Green Bay Packers but all the fans wear cheese on their heads? Or as Kris mentioned, the boilermakers and the hooisers? Come on, what the hell is a hoosier?I am proud to be a University of Kentucky Wildcat. We actually have two different mascots, the original Wildcat who my husband calls Murray and Scratch who is the kid's club mascot.

[Stacy]

Am ashamed to admit this but I JUST NOW GOT why the Pirates have the Parrot as a mascot. DUH! Also, my husband is from Pittsburgh.