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| October 2007 »
It's okay. No really, It's okay.
I know, you loved him. You thought you were going to be together forever. You are 18 years old, seriously, girl, get a grip.
Stop crying. Take a shower. Eat something other than chocolate. Drink something other than beer. Go to the gym.
You are in college. Go to a bar. Go to a party. Go be fun. You know, fun. Stop sitting around on your disgusting couch. Stop watching 90210 reruns. Kelly picks Dylan and all the other original actors leave in like season 12,000. And then come back. It's a bad show. No, really, it is.
While a part of you will always wonder what happened to him, he will become a faint a memory. You will have more boyfriends. You will fall in love again.
You are going to go to law school. You are going to pass the bar.
And most surprisingly to you right now, you will marry, someone else. A man who loves you, you! The real you. The you you don't let people see.
You will be happy.
This post brought to you by the cafemom writing challenge.
Michael hates taking medicine. In fact, he will spit it out at me. That's right, when I give me kid medicine I end up with children's syrupy sticky gooyeness in my hair. It's delightful.
This weekend Michael got a really bad cough that was keeping him up all night. He wouldn't take the Pediacare liquid, he wouldn't take the Benadryl, he would take anything.
I found this.
Is it okay that I told him it was candy? He loves it now.
I want to kiss whoever came up with that.
Yesterday when Michael got home from daycare he announced he was going to work. He went upstairs to his room and shut the door. I turned the baby monitor on and heard silence.
About five minutes later I went up to his room and he was sitting in his monkey chair. When asked what he was doing Michael's response was "I work with the monkey." 
I didn't want to tell him that working with monkeys is probably in his future. At some point, we all do.
****As an aside, if you have ever wondered how addicted I am to the internet, click here.
*****And, if you read nothing else online today, read this. And go thank Amy for turning me on to it.
I must be stopped
This is how my day begins. Read email, post blog on Jodifur, check Bloglines, click on new posts, check birth board on Babycenter, read People, read E online, read Washingtonpost,
(yes in that order, shut up), check email and Bloglines again. I could
have new stuff. And three days a week, then I do it all again when I
get to work.
Work is a 10 minute drive, even with DC traffic. And then I do it 500 times a day.
I've forged very close friendships with bloggers that I've never met, but email with a million times a day.
Other bloggers I've met, and have regular play dates with.
I can check email from my Motorola Q but I'm desperate for an i phone for better web browsing capabilities.
It is clear there is something wrong with me. Is there a 12 step program?
And as seen from the picture, I've even passed the disease onto my kid.
I think my best quality is that I'm a really good friend. I am there whenever my friends need me and would give anyone the shirt off my back. I go out of my way to help my friends. I email, I call, I try to be there. Even with my busy life, I take time out, like really take time out, when I can help, or just to listen. You always get a card and call for every birthday and anniversary. I hand knit baby blankets as gifts. I remember milestones.
I've realized lately that I am unappreciated. Most people are not me. Most people do not value friendship the way I do.
I'm sick of being the one who always trys so hard and is let down. I'm starting to feel like a stalker. I'm tired of unreturned phone messages and unreturned emails. If I've offended you, tell me. Don't just blow me off.
Why is it so hard to let go and move on? When will I learn to stop reaching out? Maybe people just grow out of each other and that is okay.
(Just to be clear, this is not related to anyone who reads this blog. So please don't think I'm talking about you. I'm not).
Anyone who swung by Jodifur this morning may have realized there was a management error today. The management (okay, me) posted a draft of the blog exchange post I've been working on.
Please ignore it. And I'll post what I meant to post tomorrow.
Sorry. Big screw up!
Thank you for all of your comments and emails. I'm sorry I didn't post an update. I didn't think my child's food allergies would be important to other people. Clearly, I am downplaying the power of the Internet.
Thankfully, Michael is food allergy free! We assumed he had food allergies because he once got a rash from peanut oil, and constantly has a small rash around his mouth. I was dreading turning into the hyper vigilant mom who had to read all food packages. (Processed with nuts, no way!) I was anticipating sending notes to school and when he goes over to kids houses that said if he comes in contact with a nut he will die! Turns out he has sensitive skin and the food is bothering his skin, not allergies.
And, Michael did phenomenally well at the appointment. The appointment was about 90 minutes, and the biggest problem was that I was not allowed to feed him. He kept saying, "I need something to eat."
During the testing portion he just straddled my lap facing me and didn't even notice when they pricked him 20 times. He sat nicely for the twenty minutes it took before the Doctor could read the test and read the new books I had purchased on Thursday specifically for the appointment. (Smart mom I am).
After the doctor gave us the all clear, and some ideas for lotions and washes we can use that won't bother his skin, we went out for ice cream. Not that bad of a day after all.
I'm off to repent for my sins.
I am taking Michael today to be evaluated for food allergies. Simple right?
No. Try spending 2 hours at a pediatric allergist with a two year old. Then imagine they are going to do an allergy scratch test where the prick him 15 times. He then has to lie on his stomach for 20 minutes and not flip onto his back. How exactly am I going to do this without holding him down forcibly? And the appointment is at 10:30 a.m., which means it will push up against both lunch time and nap time. I'm going to be stuck in a doctors office for 2 hours with a hungry, tired, unable to move toddler. And I'm going with no help. Don't you all wish you were me?
After that I have my whole family coming over for Kol Nidre dinner. I'm hoping he takes a long nap so I can cook and clean. Today is the best day ever.
Tomorrow I fast all day for Yom Kippur. I actually think that's going to better day than today.
One of my new favorite bloggers, Jen, sent me 5 questions to answer. It's been a while since we did this. And if anyone else wants to ask me a question, leave it in the comments.
Your favorite vacation memory
The first time Doug and I ever went away together was a bed and breakfast in the Shenandoah Valley where we toured wineries. We went out to a really nice, fancy dinner and during the dinner he grabbed my hand and started playing with the ring on my left hand ring finger. It was at that moment I knew we were going to get married. We had only been dating 3 months, but I could so picture him proposing, that I knew we would get married.
One piece of advice you wish someone had given you before you became a mom
Some babies don't nurse and it is ok. It is not your fault.
Best piece of life advice you've ever been given
From my dad-At the end of your life you have to be comfortable with the choices you made.
What would Michael's name have been if he had been a girl?
Madeliene Sarah-Madeliene for the same person Michael was named after, Sarah was Doug's grandmother's name.
Favorite song lyric
Well, I love a lot of song lyrics, but lately I have been obssesed with this standard by Nancy Lamont.
I never thought there could be a love like yours and mine
I never dreamed that I would see the day that I would find
A love that feels so right, but here we are tonight
And now the only thing we really need is time
We live on borrowed time
No one can be sure when the loan will finally come due
But I'm loving all of mine, I know what time is for,
I've borrowed it so I can spend it all right here with you
There was a time when I believed that life held guarantees
There was a time when I was sure my future was secure,
But life had other plans, the future's in God's hands
And knowing that just makes me love you even more
We live on borrowed time
Yesterday is past, tomorrow seems a million miles away
But I promise you that I'm gonna make love last
By living every moment, every hour, every day
Now we may have a year, or we may have a lifetime,
No one can be certain what the future will allow,
But you and I are here, and this time is the right time
'Cause one thing that I know is that we have each other now, and now,
And we live on borrowed time
Let's celebrate and sing as we walk bravely into the unknown
'Cause we're gonna be just fine, whatever life may bring,
We'll face it all together and we'll never be alone
We'll face it all together and we'll never be alone
I've always been blessed with a good sleeper. Michael has been sleeping thought the night, pretty consistently, since he was 4 months old. That went out of the window if he was sick or teething, but mostly, 7 pm-7 am. Naps have always been spotty, but normally it was 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Last two weeks, he goes down at 7 and plays and chats in his crib for hours. Hours. We are lucky if he is asleep by 10. I know what you are thinking, he needs a later bedtime. We tried that. He just talked later.
And besides the not going to bed at a reasonable hour, he is up 2-3 times a night because he can't find a particular stuffed animal that he must have to sleep with. It's a crises. "Mommy, mommy, where's my turtle? Mommy, mommy, where's my big bird?" I have to get out of bed and go show him that it is right next to him, where it was an hour ago. He goes right back to sleep, I then take another hour to fall asleep and an hour later it happens again. I know, stop going in, but then he just screams louder and wakes himself up more and no one (except Doug) is sleeping anyway. (How come Michael only wants Doug except if it's in the middle of the night).
I can't believe I am doing this, but I need some advice from veteran moms. Push his bed time back? Give up the nap? (The only thing is, he has to nap at daycare). Keep putting him down at 7 and when he goes to sleep, he goes to sleep? Take all of his stuffed animals and twilight turtle out of his crib and then he won't have anything to play with? We have tried it all and nothing is working.
The first person to tell me it's time to move him from his crib will be shot, on sight. Michael is staying in his crib until he is 6.
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