Schedules

One of the hardest things in adjusting to parenthood, is that you just can't do what you want, when you want it. Doug and I have always had pretty active social lives. We were always very good at making plans with other couples and seeing our friends individually. Since Michael, obviously, we see our friends less, especially our friends without kids. But, even harder than that is coordinating individual time. Doug plays cards every week, so I have to make sure I have no plans that night. On Sunday nights, Doug normally plays in a basketball league. Well, last night at the last minute I had an opportunity to see Wicked. Doug stayed home so I could go to the show, and I'm grateful, but I know he was upset he missed his game. Gone are the days of, "I'm doing this, your doing that, love you, see you later." It's now, "okay, I'm leaving at 3 so do you want to shower now because you will be alone all day with Michael? Do you need anything? Can I help you before I go?" And even though Wicked was amazing, and I had a great time, I still felt guilty for going, because Doug missed his game.

From the mouth of babes

I was sitting on the floor reading the Washington Post while Michael was playing. He walked over to the paper, pointed at a picture of Dick Cheney, and said, "Monkey." This was completely unprompted and spontaneous. And hysterical. I always say, when Michael grows up, he can be whatever he wants, but he may not be a Republican.

Dreaming of sun

I love this picture. Not just because it's 15 degrees today and this reminds me of beach, sun, and warmth. No, it's because Michael is the spitting image of Doug, even from behind. Michael is built exactly like Doug, just a miniature version. Long legs, long torso, and lean. And he worships his Daddy.

I had a miserable pregnancy. I find it ironic that if you look at Michael, you would think I had nothing to do with him. His face is identical to his Dad's. His build is identical to his Dad's.
Lucky for us, he got my stubbornness. That's where all the "No!" comes from.

I love this picture because when you look at it, even though Michael's face is turned away from the camera, you can picture the look of wonderment in his eyes when he saw the ocean. It wasn't for the first time, because he saw the same ocean when he was 6 weeks old, but he didn't remember that.

I remember when I was pregnant people would tell me the best part of being a parent is watching the world through their child's eyes. That's what this picture is for me. The world, through Michael's eyes.

Where did he come from?

If you try to do something for him, he says "No, Michael do it."

We bought Harris Teeter cottage cheese instead of Breakstone, and he threw it on the ground. Apparently it tastes different.

He calls the dog into rooms, he hates when the dog is not in the same room we are.

He says, "No, Mommy, Daddy do it."

He brushes his own teeth.

He can count to ten, and sing "row, row, row your boat" (Well, mostly, he does the row, row, row your boat, and merrily, merrily).

He pats along to Little Einsteins.

He loves all animals, and can say, panda, doggie, yak, bridie, fishie, and every other animal imaginable.

This morning he said, "I'm Michael. I'm a boy."

When I drop him off at daycare he says, "Bye Mommy, See ya."

Where did my baby go, and who is this funny, sweet, and oh so stubborn little boy that is in his place?

Insomnia

It's 1:21 am, and I'm awake. I've been trying to sleep since 9:30 pm. I'm frustrated, angry, and oh, so tired. Why can't I just sleep like a normal person? I've tried reading, watching tv, and even a couple of other things to induce sleep, and nothing. So, does this happen to you, and what do you do? Michael is due to be up in 6 hours and I have to work tomorrow. At least I have lots of tivo.

Mea Culpa

Of all the posts I've written so far, this one generated the most email. And here's the truth, it's not entirely true. I don't really hate my job. I hate aspects of my job. My job in and of itself, is fine. About 6 months ago I changed jobs. I was doing contract work doing the same thing I did before I got pregnant. I went back to working for the agency, not for myself, in a different capacity. There has been a steep learning curve, and I've made some mistakes. I don't like it as well as what I used to do, but it's time to "suck up and deal" as I used to say. I have to work, there is no way around it. I'm lucky enough to only have to work part-time, which works out to be three days a week. Michael is in a wonderful daycare arrangement, and he loves it there. This job gives me what I want, a pay check and time with my son. Is it ideal? No. If I could do anything in the world, would I do this? Probably not. But, I love the people I work with. My boss is really flexible and understanding when Michael gets sick and I need to take off (most of the time). And in the end, it works, for me, and my family. And, truth be told, it's not so bad, time away. It makes me shower, and put on nice clothes, and have adult interaction. Sure, it's hard to fit in gym time, and running errands. My in-laws are coming this weekend and this is one of those weeks were I have a ton to do to get ready. But it will all get done, because it has to. So no more whining. I'm luckier than a lot of people who have to work 50 hours a week to put food on the table. Or, who can't find work and can't put food in the table. I made this choice, it's time to stop complaining about it.

Since I'm introducing my buttons

It's a party! I just discovered this site and it's a riot. I've signed up to be part of the ultimate blog party from March 2-March 9. They are offering prizes. I've signed up to supply pedicure socks (knitted by lil' ol' me). So be sure to stop by, mark your calendars. Come on, everyone loves a good party.

Make a Difference

Some of you might have noticed this on my blog-For details, click here.

I am proud to say, that I know Beth, like, in real life. We have totally hung out. (Well, it was once, but still). She is as lovely in person as she seems on her blog. When she approached me about being a charter member of her then unnamed charity blogging thingie, I was thrilled, and honored.

The thing about blogging is, you meet really cool people, virtually, and in real life. I started this blog after reading other Mommy blogs for over a year, and being amazed that they could put virtual pen to virtual paper so well and describe how I felt. Doug said, you read so many blogs, you might as well write one, and that's how this blog was born.

But since I have been writing it, I'm amazed at the amount of comments and emails I get. I've made friends, real friends, they just happen to live inside a computer box.

Beth's Small Change initiative is everything that is right about the Mommy blogging community. Go look at the post and see the amount of comments she received and people asking to participant. For free. Maybe it will give us some traffic, but I highly doubt people signed up for that reason.

If you haven't done so already, please go visit Beth, and think about signing up. And if you don't think you can make the commitment of once a month, well, then just do this month's challenge, which is sending a card to a sick kid. I felt so good about myself when I put my card in the mailbox.

Labels: Random Bloginess, Random Friendness, Small Change

I thought I had already made this decision

Remember when I said I wanted to quit my job and stay home full time? (Actually, have I ever said that here? Have I just been thinking about it)? I take it back. I couldn't make it through three days straight at home, two with Doug. The whole weekend has been exactly like Friday, crying, complaining, and being generally miserable. Besides playing in the dinning room (which Michael is not allowed to do), or watch TV (which we limit to an hour), nothing, and I mean nothing, has made Michael happy. There was constant whining, and NO! Doug handled it much better than I did (except for the fact that he went to bed at 8:30 on Friday night and took a nap on Saturday). I started to wonder, do I lose my patience so quickly because I am home more? Would I be a better Mom if I just sucked it up and worked full time? I might be able to find something I liked better (in fact, I know I could, but that's a different post). Is there ever a right answer? I thought working part-time was the perfect balance for me, attorney sometimes, stay at home mom others. But in turns out, I'm not very good at either one. My job is suffering, and Michael is suffering. When does this become easier? Women talk about going back to work when their child is in school, but I actually think you are busier then, with homework, extracurricular activities, and sports games to attend. Doug and I have been talking about me staying home full time. If we can afford it, I can do it. I'm not sure we can afford it, but I'm also not sure I want to. Doug thinks I just hate my job, which he is right about, not that I want to be home full time. I don't know anything anymore.

Today is one of those days

I thought Michael broke his hand this morning. He fell off the couch while trying to climb onto it. He fell on his hand. For about 45 minutes he was screaming so loud I was convinced it had to be broken. I got him to calm down with a sippy cup full of milk and Little Einsteins, or as he says, rocket. I grabbed his hands, moved his fingers around, and played with them while he watched the show, no crying. We went off to playgroup. And he was terrible. Cried , clung to me, wouldn't eat. Even the other moms asked me what was wrong, one said "he is never like this." And they were right. He was being clingy and whiny, things Michael just isn't. I put him down for a nap at noon. It's 2:30, and he has not slept for one minute. I took him out of his crib at 1, put him back down at 1:30, and just took him out again, at 2:30, to try again at 3:00 pm. If this kid does not take a nap I am going to lose my mind. I'm only home 2 days a week, not counting the weekends. And I work 3 days a week. And lately, with troubles at work, I keep thinking I really want to stay home full time. Doug thinks I don't want to stay home full time, I'm just not happy at work. Today, Doug is right. In fact, I want to work full time. Could his hand be broken, is that the issue? Is he sick? Teething? As someone in my playgroup said, sometimes they just have bad days. I wish his bad days were at daycare though, because this is miserable. Please, please, please take a nap. I will give you a million dollars.